College Day's
by twilaholic-mom
Summary: It's Bella and Edwards first year at Dartmouth. Edward can't seem to hide his detest of Bella and the more he pushes her and her intelligence the more she turns away from. That is until a terrible events brings them together.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

BPOV

I knew why I had to decided to go to college so far away, but still I was afraid. I've lived with my dad, Charlie, in the safe small town life in Forks, WA my whole life. I'd go see my mom, Rene, for two weeks every year in big cities like Phoenix or Jacksonville, but I had always just preferred to stay in then go to the mall like a normal teenager. But I was now a grown-up going to the big college of Dartmouth and I was scared shitless. Looking at my dad now I could see he was as afraid of leaving his little girl here, as I was of being here alone. I knew it was time to grow up though and I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision to go to school here.

" Ok Bells, I think that's the last of it" Charlie looked around my dorm room refusing to look me in the eyes. If I hadn't know better I swear he was on the verge of tears.

" Dad don't, look at me" I walked across the room and stood in front of my father. " I'm still your little girl, " I cringed at how cliche that sounded, but it just seemed like the right thing to say " I'm just a phone call away, speed dial two in fact, the fire department is number one in case you blow up the house attempting to cook!" I half-heartedly laughed.

" I just don't see why you had to pick the one college that was on the opposite coast"

" You know why, I have to learn to live on my own, live a little, have some normal teenage experiences. I just need to stand on my own two feet for once" I looked up to see him playing with the edges of one of my moving boxes.

" Ok kiddo, but you know this, if you at any moment want to come home, I'll be here in a flash, ok?"

" Gotcha Chief!" I fake saluted him trying not to smile, but failing miserably. " Ok, give me a hug and get out of here. You have a long drive ahead of you, and I don't want you to be too tired"

Charlie ambled over to me slowly trying to make the best out of this emotional situation. He hated this kind of stuff, and normally so did I but today I just needed to hug my dad goodbye.

After a few moments of awkwardness we broke away from the hug. I felt better, just knowing that Charlie would always be there for me. Never passing judgment, just there. That's what every kid wanted, right? Without another word he headed for the door.

" Call me when you stop for the night, I wanna make sure you are ok." I yelled after him. He just raised his hand as he kept walking, letting me know he heard me.

I turned back around and suddenly a huge smile broke out across my face. I jumped up on the small twin bed and covered my face with my pillow to cover my screams of excitement. I couldn't believe I was finally here, Dartmouth, in my own dorm room.

Just then it occurred to me that I should have a roommate. They had single rooms,but I couldn't afford one with my measly salary at the sporting goods store I worked at all through high school. Charlie had offered to pay for one, but I wouldn't hear of him getting into his retirement just so I didn't have to share a room. Plus I never has any brothers or sisters so I never got to experience the whole sharing thing. I just hoped it was someone I could at least get along with.

Just then I heard a loud squealing coming from the doorway.

" Oh. My. God!!! This is perfect" And with that a pixie like girl skipped into my room almost as if she was floating. " Hi my name is Alice Cullen, we are going to be the best of friends I can just tell. I have a sixth sense about these things"

" Uh hi, I'm Bella Swan. I take it you're my dorm mate?" I smiled at her wondering how many pots of coffee this small thing could have ingested to get her this riled up. " I hope you don't mind, I took this side of the room. We can switch if yo would prefer to be by the window..." I was stopped mid sentence.

" Oh heavens no, this side is closer to the closet, my sanctuary." She made a gesture towards the closet as if she were Vanna White showing off the grand prize. I couldn't help but laugh at her, her energy was kinda of contagious.

" Um, I was just about to go get something to eat, so I'll leave you alone to set up your stuff." I shoved my hands in my pocket, a nervous habit I picked up from Charlie, and started walking towards the door. Once I got a little further down the hallway I took the campus map they had given me during orientation, out of my pocket. I kept walking while looking for the cafeteria on the map. I should have know better than to walk and read a map at the same time, I can barely just walk, because before I knew it I hit what felt like a stone wall, knocking me right on my ass.

" Hey! Watch where you're going" Someone screamed at me.

I looked up to see a very angry, and beautiful guy looking at me. I'd never seen anyone look so god like in my life. His hair was a unique shade of bronze that would stand out even if it wasn't attached to the most beautiful human being I'd ever seen. And his eyes were a shade of green that I wouldn't be soon forgetting. Slightly masculine and tall,well at least he towered over me, which wasn't hard, I wasn't that tall.

" I'm so sorry" I stammered, trying to get ahold of myself " I'm a little clumsy, I should have know better than to walk and read at the same time." I chuckled nervously hoping it wouldn't break the tension.

" Yeah well, whatever" He turned back around and spoke to a big guy who looked like a he belonged on a football field somewhere. " When did they start letting morons go to this school, I thought it was kinda for us smart people. Or at least for the coordinated"

I swear my mouth hit the floor. I knew I was clumsy, but to get that I wasn't smart enough to go to this school because of it was a huge leap. I wanted to stand up to him but my mouth was like cotton.

Just then he turned back around " Can I help you?" The smug look on his face was almost unbearable.

" Yeah, you can. You can tell me when they started letting ignorant ass holes go to this school!" With that I turned around and started running back to my room.

I didn't know where that burst of courage came from but I was proud of myself. I'd never really stood up for myself like that before. Of course when your dad is the police chief you rarely have anyone give you a reason to.

I opened up the door to my dorm room and immediatly shut it again to see if I was in the right room. Amazingly I was. I couldn't beleive it, it was a completely different room. Just then Alice seemed to pop out of nowhere.

" So? What do you think?"

" It's, um, great. How did you do all of this? I wasn't even gone that long"

" I know I thought you were going to get something to eat?"

" Well I was,but I ran into a problem, literally ran into a problem" Alice's eyebrow lifted in confusion. For some reason I felt completely at ease talking to her. Like we'd know each other for ages. " I was on my way to the cafeteria and I got out my campus map ust to make sure I was going the right way. Well I should have known better than to do that because next thing you know I'm on the ground. I ran into this completly gorgeous jackass who after I apologized asked " when did they start letting morons in this school" " I put moke quotation marks in the air " Well aparently i have more guts than I give myself credit for and ask him, when did they start letting ignorant assholes go to this school. But that is where my courage stopped cuz then I ran back here"

" Now when you say gorgeous, what do you mean?"

I had to laugh at her, I knew she had listened to what I said, but I couldn't beleive that was the one point she wanted clarified.

" Like a freakin Greek God. You wouldn have to seem him to beleive it. Do you wanna go get something to eat? Second time's the charm right?"

With that we headed back down the hallway. This time I let Alice guide me, she seem to know her way around alot better than me. It took us no time at all to reach the cafeteria. I looked around the huge room, amazed by the amount of food they offered. Right before my ears were invaded with another piercing scream from Alice.

" Come Bella, I want you to meet my brother" With that she grabbed my hand and led through tables. My face was a slight shade of red, as I'm sure everyone in the room had heard that loud noise come from this tiny person. " Bella I'd like you to met my older brother Emmett and my other brother Edward"

I turned to look at who she was introducing me to and my jaw went slack. There in front of me sat the same asshole who I ran into in the hall. I didn't know what to say. I was really hoping that he wouldn't remember me and I could just go on with my life, but of course that would be to simple.

" Hey isn't that the girl who ran into you?" the big one, Emmett, announced. I smirked at him as if to say ' thanks, you just made my life hell'. He just looked a me and gave out the loudest laugh I've ever heard. " Oh you are going to be fun. I don't think we've had a smartass like you around the family since Edward showed up."

" Yeah well, you have to be smart to be a smart ass, that's why I'm so good at it" Edward replied being very confident in himself. All I could do was glare at him, I had used my one shot of confidence earlier. Alice made up for it though. Next thing I knew she was smacking the both of them in the back of the head.

" You two be nice, this is my roommate. So if you can't play nice you just won't being seeing any of your wonderful sister." She stuck out her bottom lip and gave them the best pout job I had ever seen.. Something I would definatly have to learn from her someday.

" I 'll just have to endure it then" And with that, Edward stalked off, leaving a plate full of food on the table.

" So was that the so called " Greek God" you ran into?"

"Alice!" My face couldn't be any redder.

" Oh wait till Edward hears that, he is going to shit a brick" Emmett started to get up.

" NO! Please! Alice??" I looked at her pleadingly for help.

" Emmett, you will not tell Edward anything, or I will post naked baby pictures of you all over campus. You got me?"

" Fine" He sat back down and folded his arms across his chest. Even though he was a big guy, right now he resembled a two year old who jsut got his favorite toy taken away. I have got to ask Alice how she does this. She talks, they listen, it's an amazing talent.

By the time Alice and I came back with our food, Emmett had gone through two plate fulls and was gone. It was like he was a human garbage disposal.

" So I can kinda see the resemblance in you and Emmett, dark hair, perky attitude and such but Edward seems so different. What the deal there? He the milk man's kid?"

" No Edward was adopted. When he was five our father adopted him. Emmett is older than us by a year and Edward and I are the same age. Edwards always been a little on the dreary side. He's a little too smart for his own good and he likes to flaunt it. But once you get to know him, he's really not that bad, I promise."

" I hope so" With that I sat through the rest of our meal listening to Alice go on and on about clothes, and designer names I've never even heard of. It wasn't a surprise that her major was fashion design. I really liked Alice, and could see she was right about us being really good friends. It was a shame not all the Cullen's could be as friendly as their sister.

**A/N This is my first Fan Fic, so your feed back is really important to me. If you would like longer or shorter chapters. What direction you think I should go stuff like that. I have the plot in my head, but sometimes I have a problem getting from one spot to another and need a little budge. **


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

EPOV

I hate the first day of school. It doesn't matter weather it's grade school, high school, or like today college. Everyone is running around like they've never seen a classroom before. Of course I knew that I had a little bit of advantage. I'd visited my brother Emmett enough the previous year that I pretty much new my way around. I didn't have to look like your normal freshman, carrying around a map and all, to find my way aroudn campus. At least I caught somewhat of a break and Emmett and I will be sharing a dorm. It took some string pulling but our father, Carlisle was able to pull it off. No sharing a room with some freak, or some wanna be frat boy.

Emmett could get on my nerves, but it was better than having to be anywhere near Alice. I could only imagine the hell she was putting her roommate through. But their room would be the cleanest and most fashionably decorated room on campus.

I doubt that roommate of her's cares much. She looked like she was kind of a plain Jane. Probably some hick farm girl from Montana or something. Definitely never been anywhere near as big as this place, as evident of her running me over in the hall with her nose in the campus map. That shit really irritated me. Then she thought she's really let me have it with her little " arrogant ass hole" comment. In truth it just made me laugh.

Then to find out she is Alice's roommate. I guess I would just have to play nice. Alice might annoy me most of the time, but I loved the hell out of her. She would do anything for Emmett and I , and the same goes for us.

I started walking across campus to my only class for the day, American History. I really hadn't decided on a major yet, but history was definitely up there as one of my favorite topics. I tried to sit in the back and just blend in. There was only one other person in the back row, sleeping I might add. A blonde mop haired guy, who looked like a folk singer of sorts. I sat a few desks downs from him and set down my books. I must have made quite a bit of noise, because the guy stirred and looked up from his desk.

" Hey did class start yet??" He asked

" Um, no not yet. I think we still have ten or fifteen minutes."

" Cool, I'm Jasper Hale by the way. Will you give me a nudge when it does start?"

" Edward Cullen, yeah that's no problem"

With that he laid his head back on the desk and went to sleep. I didn't know weather he was just lazy or tired. If it's laziness I'd had enough of these kinds back in high school. You'd think by the time you've made it to college you would have grown up.

It wasn't long before the professor walked in and I decided to make good on my promise. For all I know this guy had a long drive the night before. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

" Jasper, hey, class is starting" I lightly nudged him with out even the slightest reaction. " Hey! Dude, Jasper get up!" Still nothing, I decided to try one more thing. I chucked my pen at him.

" Rosalie what the ....." He looked around a little dazed. " Oh hell, thanks man appreciate it"

" You're girl keep you up last night or something?"

" Huh?? Oh Rosalie, God no, that's my sister, eh that was a terrible image." I laughed softly at him as his face puckered up in disgust. " No, but I was up most the night moving all her shit into her dorm room. I pack three boxes worth of crap and she packs a small village worth of crap. Oh who am I kidding it's a small town worth of crap."

" I feel ya, got a sister of my own. Moving just her clothes alone was time consuming, and she only brought the necessities of her closet. So she says" Jasper laughed with me, it was nice to have something in common with someone other than your brother. This guy just might be ok.

The professor walked in then and started class, and started going over the requirements. This is the other reason why I hated first days. You didn't cover anything of value and really you could just skip it. In my mind, you're in college now, you should have your shit together. If you haven't bought your books yet, that's not the rest of ours problem, come back when you've got your big girl panties on and can join in adult conversation. Until then go back to high school where they baby you.

" I hate these first few classes, I thought about just skipping" Jasper mumbled " Didn't we get all of this stuff in the mail, of what is required of us and crap? Seriously I can't see what could have changed."

I smiled at Jasper and laughed softly. Yeah, this guy was gonna be okay.

After what seemed like an eternity our class was finally over. I couldn't' believe this day was almost over.

" Hey you wanna go get something to eat with me? I'm starving. " Jasper asked. My stomach grumbled just as I went to answer. " Well I guess that's my answer"

We silently walked down to the cafeteria. As odd as it seems I felt strangely as east with Jasper. No need to fill the air with mindless chit chat or talk of the weather. It was quite nice. After living with an over active pixie and child like gorilla Jasper was a breath of fresh and calm air.

I spotted Emmett and Alice when we walked into the cafeteria.

" Hey do you mind if we sit with my brother and sister. I'd never hear the end of it if I didn't"

" No problem, where are they?"

I started walking in their direction, when suddenly something very blonde was standing in front of me. She wasn't bad looking, kinda looked like a pissed off Barbie in Ugg boots.

" Jasper!!! Do you remember seeing my box of heels? I can't find it anywhere. That had all of my most favorite shoes in it" She whined.

" Edward, this is my sister Rosalie. Well, lets see, I must have taken that box to my room. You know how I like to cross dress in my spare time."

" Seriously, look through your boxes. You must have them in your room. Who's this?" Her attention was suddenly on me.

" This is Edward, I have American History with him."

" Hi Edward"

" Hello Rosalie, Jasper and I were just about to sit down with my brother and sister to eat. Would you like to join us?" I silently laughed to myself. Personally she wasn't my type, but Emmett would go bat shit crazy of her.

" Yeah sure, that would be wonderful. Did you see that Jasper, he actually treated me like a lady."

" Lady?? You're my sister. I'll save that behavior for somebody I like."

" Follow me, they are just right over here" I cut in. I knew from experience that if you kept up the sibling bickering, it could go on for ages.

" Edward!!'' I heard Alice screech as we got closer. I never would get use to that high pitch squeal.

" Alice, Emmett, this is Jasper. I met him in one of my classes today. And this is his sister Rosalie."

Alice was up faster than I could blink shaking hands with Jasper and batting those baby blues. I looked over to Emmett to roll my eyes only to see that he missing from his seat and standing in front of Rosalie, flexing his muscles. Great I just inadvertently set both of my sibling up.

" Well I'm going to get something to eat, anyone want to join me?" I asked not really expecting an answer.

" I will" I heard Jasper say, and he followed me up towards the front of the room. " Dude, can I be up front with you?"

" I don't care, just don't hurt her. You see that big guy hittin on your sister? He will mess you up if you so much as make her cry. And I'd have to hurt you too, and I don't want to have to do that, I kinda like you"

" How did you know? I mean she is just amazing, that hair and eyes and those..."

"Ok, ok , I get it. Just shut up now before I have to prematurely hurt you." I chuckled lightly.

" Thanks man, appreciate it."

With that we got our food and headed back to our table. I'd seen that Alice's roommate had joined us since we last were there. Great, time to put on a happy face. I don't know what it was about this girl but she seriously rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it was the way she looked at me, like she saw right through me.

" Ahhh! Not your Jimmy Choos" I heard Alice gasp. I see that Rosalie had shared her trauma of losing her shoe box, and she manage to find the only person on campus that would care or understand as much as her. " Can you believe Bella here had never even heard of Jimmy Choos before today?"

" No?? Oh Bella we have much to teach you. Where did you say you were from? Rosalie asked.

" Forks, Washington. It's about this big" She held up her hand and pinched her thumb and first finger together. I smiled to myself, guessing right about her small town upbringing.

" Well but you have Seattle close right? I mean, they have to have some good shopping malls." pondered Alice, just perplexed as to how anyone could live there life without shopping.

" I didn't leave town very often. My truck would never have made it." She blushed and bit her bottom lip a little. I have to admit, it she didn't piss me off so much, I would find it cute. " It's what you'd call and oldie but a goodie. It got me form point A to point B"

" Well me and my new found friend Alice here are going to show you the ropes of shopping do's and don't." Rosalie stated. Emmett was pathetically hanging off of every word she said.

" I could come along and carry bags!" Emmett chimed in. Both mine and Alice's head spun towards him.

" What!?!?! Look Emmett let's get this over with. Rosalie he likes you. Will you go on a date with him so I don't' have to drag him out shopping with us?

" Alice!! Good God woman, I was trying to be a gentleman. But if we're gonna play this game. Yo! Jasper, little sis here has eyes for you, take here out on a nice date will ya? Hurt her I'll kill ya" Emmett made a fist at Jasper.

Jasper looked pleadingly at me." This is what I have to deal with everyday. Just take the girl out on a date, you're not going to get a better chance than her brother threatening you to do so"

With that the four of them broke of into twosome and after a few awkward moments began to plan their dates. I silently looked up to see Bella's nose in a book. Figures, a book worm. I went back to eating my meal and was almost done when Alice interrupted me.

" Edward, we could make this a double date, you and Bella could come too!"

With that Bella's head shot up " Like hell!!!" She yelled. " I've gone out on enough dated with guys like him to know I'm not interested"

" Guys like me, huh? And what kind of guy is that? A guy with a brain, or a guy with basic knowledge of the world outside of small town living?" I retorted back.

"No, guys who wouldn't know how to treat a girl if a book of etiquette fell on their foot. Alice I'm gonna go back up to our room. I'm a little tired, playing Barbie Bella all day wore me out."

With that she grabbed her book and walked off. No one had ever stood up to me like that. Most girls were putty in my hand. Oh well, plenty more where she came from. I didn't need a girlfriend anyway's, I was here to study.

**A/N Ok well so far so good I hope. Please let me know what you think so far, it will help keep me motivated to keep going. **


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**BPOV**

I couldn't believe that guy. Had he never heard of common courtesy? Was he so sure of himself, that he felt every girl should just fall to his every whim? I could barely think as I walked up to my room.

Of course I hadn't been the nicest person either. I could have let him knock down Alice's attempt at setting us up. Ever since we had left lunch, she's been on me about her brother. Trying to convince me that once you got to know him, he was an absolute gentlemen. Well after tonight's little show, I highly doubt that. I would have thought that he would have at least given me a chance before passing judgement. To assume that I can't compete with him intellectually just because I ran into him, that's just childish.

Almost as childish as my little show down in the cafeteria. Now that I'd blown off some steam, I realized I could have handled that differently. I just couldn't' even think around him, he just got me so riled up. I don't know what it was about him.

I sat down on my bed and got my class schedule out, groaning as I remembered that my first class tomorrow was at seven in the morning. I was not a morning person, but this was the only time they had for this class, Musical History. It was one of the only classes I was looking forward to attending. I loved music, any kind, but especially classical. I leaned back on my bed humming " Clair De Lune" to myself.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember is Alice shaking me awake.

" Bella, sweetie, you're gonna get a kink in your neck if you sleep like that. "

" Thanks Alice, I would have regretted that in the morning"

" Here a brought you a fruit salad. You didn't stay long enough to get anything to eat."

" Sorry. I really will try to be nicer to your brother. I know it means alot to you. I don't know where all of this courage has suddenly come from. I never would have said that to anyone before. He just brings out the worst in me I guess."

" It's ok, his manners weren't exactly on par either. But enough about my stupid brother. I've got a date with Jasper on Friday! He is so sweet Bella, maybe on Saturday we can all go out to lunch?"

" It's a date. I'm happy for you. Oddly enough you two look really cute together already"

" Ahh!!" That damn screech again " I have to find the perfect outfit for Friday. You have to help me. Ooohh and Rosalie, too. Who would know what Jasper would like more than his twin?"

"Twins? Really?" I really needed to stop storming off, I'm missing valuable information.

" Oh yeah. Clearly not identical" She giggled at the obviousness of her statement." But yeah twins. So any who, we have to go shopping. No time's better than the present for Rosalie and I to show you the ropes of shopping."

" Ok, what's your class schedule like tomorrow nigh? We can go then if we're all free."

" Perfect! I'll let Rosalie know." With that she flitted across the room to retrieve her cell phone.

While Alice was away making her phone call I decided it was good time to set my alarm. I silently thanked Alice again, for if she had not woken me up, not only would I have a stiff neck but would have missed my class.

" Ok so we're all free. We're gonna meet up about fourish. Sound good?"

" Yeah, no problem. I'm gonna hit the sack though. Early class."

With that, I put my ear buds to my ipod in and fell asleep.

***********

As I made my way to my morning class I felt as if I got no sleep at all. Dreams made me restless all night. They weren't upsetting per say, but Edward was in all of them. Even in my dreams he managed to piss me off. Unfortunately I have never been good at remembering my dreams, so I couldn't tell you what they were about. I could only hope that I let him have it in my dreams as well.

I walked into the classroom and saw that I was one of the first to arrive. I decided to sit in back, no one could bother me back there. I pulled out my torn and tattered copy of Withering Heights and started to read it for the millionth time. I found that it relaxed me, just to have the familiarity was reassuring. Suddenly I felt a pair of eyes on me.

" Hello I'm Edward" I lifted my head out of my book and brushed my hair away from my face. " Oh hell, my bad. I thought you would be someone who might be capable of a decent conversation. Go back to burying your nose in that book."

" Look, it's obvious we don't like each other, but I told Alice that I would at least pretend to be nice. Could you help me out a little by attempting the same thing?"

" Whatever" He waved his hand in the air at me, which just irritated me more. " We'll just avoid each other, how's that?"

" Fine by me. Now could you go sit somewhere else? You make me nervous"

" Do I?" He said that almost seductively, to which my body betrayed me and blushed." I'm staying, I like the back, you can move"

" Fine, just stop talking to me." With that I got my ipod out and stuck it in my ear to drown him out. It wasn't but a few moments that I felt a tug on the other end. I looked up and saw that Edward had ahold of it. I took the ear buds out of my ears and just stared at him. " Excuse me, what do yo think you are doing?"

" Seeing how bad your taste of music is. I have to admit I'm quite impressed"

" I have to admit, I don't care."

" Now, now, here I am giving compliments and you have to go and be rude."

" It would help if your compliment wasn't back handed."

The professor walked in just then and saved me from him. I couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. He just assumed that he could do whatever he wanted because he was insanely good looking. The one and only class I took just for me and he had to ruin it.

" Now, there will be one project that you will have to pair up to complete." the professor was explaining. I stared looking around the room at some of the other girls, trying to decide which one to approach about being my partner. " It won't be due until the end of the semester, but I suggest you do not slack off. Just to make it interesting, I've already paired you up. Most of you are freshmen so this will give you the chance to meet new people."

I waited as he went through his list, naming off pairs, waiting to hear my name.

" Cullen, Swan...."

What!!! Did I just hear him right? Of all the dumb luck. Now I would have to play nice. I was not going to let Mr. Ego effect my grades. I turned to look at him,hoping to form a sort of truce, only to find him looking around the room. I burst out laughing. It occurred to me that Alice only introduced me as Bella, I only knew his last name because of Alice.

" What's so funny? You get stuck with nerd boy down there?"

" No, I'm laughing at you. Ironically you got stuck with the biggest moron in school, or so you think"

" No, not the blonde up there with big.."

" NO!!! Although, I'm glad you think my intelligence higher then bimbostine up there."

" You!? Great, just great." He slouched down in his chair pouting. It must be a Cullen thing, because he did it just as well as Alice. I couldn't help but laugh harder. " What now?"

" You look just like Alice when you do that."

With that he collected his books and started to stalk off. He had almost reached the door when he abruptly turned around.

" Just so you know, HIM is playing up in Providence this month" I just looked at him with the most confused look on my face. Seeing that look, he felt he needed to explain. " I saw you had quite a few songs of theirs on your Ipod. You might want to go see them while their near. They rarely come over to the states." He spun on his heels and walked out.

I couldn't believe my luck so far. Maybe going to Dartmouth was a bad idea. The first two days I've had nothing but bad luck, and it all revolves around one person, Edward Cullen.


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**EPOV**

I stalked out of the classroom, not happy with the professor, life, myself. Most of the time I could smooth talk my way into anybody's heart. The few girlfriends I had that introduced me to their parents, it had been a piece of cake to win them over. If I got a bad grade, I never had any problem talking the teacher into a better grade. But Bella Swan, was a different story. She just gave it right back, I just couldn't get into her head, and it was messing with mine.

I had to get out of here for awhile, drive around. Carlisle had made sure that Alice and I had brought our own form a transportation so that we wouldn't put each other out. I reached the student parking lot in no time and jumped in to my Volvo. I just sat there for a moment. I had no idea where I planned to go. I guess I'll just drive, get use to my new surroundings.

With that thought I turned the key to the ignition and it purred to a start. I wanted to hit my head to the steering wheel after the music kicked on though. It was a cover of " Solitary Man" performed by HIM. It wasn't the only HIM song I had on my Ipod, it just was ironic what song chose to play.

I drove around for awhile, enough to calm myself down before I headed back to campus. It was getting close to lunch time, may be I could catch Emmett before he headed out.

I walked in our room, just as Emmett was throwing on a sweatshirt. " Hey you goin down to eat?"

" Yeah I'm meeting Rosalie down there. Wanna join us?"

I thought about it for a moment and I decided I was hungry enough to put up with Emmett drooling at the feet of Barbie.

" Yeah sure. What the plans for this weekend? I know you've got to have the ins to the hottest parties" I asked as we walked down to the cafeteria.

" Oh yeah!" He was suddenly jumping up and down like a third grader who forgot to take his medication. " Some douche bag frat boy who's hoping I will pledge their fraternity told me there is going to be a rager over at Delta Phi, Pi, Guy whatever gay ass fraternity it is, on Saturday. You in?"

" Well, yeah. Would I have asked if I wasn't interested?"

" Yo little bro, what is up your ass?" I just gave him a look and rolled my eyes. " Ah, girl problems. You need Big Bro Emmett to go in and pave the way for you?"

" No, and it's not that kind of girl problems. It's complicated. I don't want to talk about it, I'll just get more frustrated."

" She must really be a peach if she's got your panties all in a bind"

Thankfully at that moment he caught sight of Rosalie and hurried over to help her take her food over to our table. Man that guy worked fast, of course she was the one who had him carrying her shit. It was hard to tell who had the upper hand.

I went up and got a few slices of pizza and a Dr. Pepper Few things were edible in this school and I had found one of those was the pizza.

I spent most of my meal, trying not to gag over Emm and Rosalie. It was like they had been a couple for a decade or so, not two people who just met two days ago. I was thankful when Alice showed up.

" Hey Al, you come to save me from the teenage love story I'm being forced to watch?" Emmett shot me a look but was quickly distracted when Rosalie uncrossed and re crossed her legs.

"Don't be such a spoiled sport, just because you're the only one who hasn't found looovvee" she tousled my hair while hanging on to the word love.

" Knock it off, do yo know how long it takes me to get my hair to look just the right mixture of bed head and sex hair."

" Yeah I do. About the time it takes you to wake up and comb your hand through that mess" She giggled and it was hard to be mad at her when she giggled like that. " Get over yourself, not every girl falls for that look you know. Some have taste" She darted away from the table at that moment to go get her food. Had we been a home this would have ended up in a game of catch.

When she got back Emmett had just got done explaining to Rosalie about the frat party. This got her all in a tizzy about what she was going to where. Of course Alice came to the rescue. After that I tried to tune out their conversation. That was until a heard her name.

" This would be the perfect chance for us to get Bella on the up and up with the current fashion scene. I swear that girl would wear jeans and a hoodie everyday if I let her. I don't know if we'll get her in a pair of heels though. She's pretty damn clumsy." With that being said I couldn't help but snort a little. " Edward, would it kill you to be nice. If it makes you feel any better, Bella came back from her morning class a little relieved that you were her partner."

" Really?" I couldn't decide if Alice was making this up just so we would play nice or if she was for real.

" Yes, really. She said at least this way she knows she not stuck with someone who's idea of good music is Britney Spears the early years. She thought you seemed quite knowledgeable. A worthy adversary as she put it."

"Huh" that's all that came out of my mouth. To be honest I figured she was going back to her room every night and poking a dozen needles into a voodoo doll with the likeness of your truly. Maybe we could at least pretend to like each other, for Alice's sake.

*******************************************************************

It seemed like Saturday came before I was ready for it. Emmett was all sorts of pumped for the party tonight. He was acting like a kid waiting to open his presents from Santa. I was ready to pummel him. I heard a slight knock on the door just as Emmett was downing his third Red Bull.

" Hey Jasper, what's up?" I was slightly surprised to see him standing at our door.

" Alice told me to come over here and wait for her. Didn't she tell you?"

" Dude I knew, it's cool. Come in Jassy!!" Emmett screamed

Jasper looked a little afraid. Emmett could be a lot to handle if you weren't use to him.

" This is only the beginning. So I suggest you buckle yourself in because he is only going to get worse."

" Worse?"

I opened my mouth to respond when there was another knock at the door. I opened it to find Rosalie standing there.

" Whoa babe!!!! You are smokin'" Emmett tried to pull off his best Jim Carey, but he just looked like a moron.

" Alice will be up in a moment, she caught a bit of a snag" Rosalie explained.

At this point Jasper looked scared shitless. I just laughed at him. We needed to take him out more. It wasn't long before a could here the sound of Alice's heels no doubt walking down the hall. Before I knew it she was walking in like she was making an entrance onto the red carpet.

" Hello boys." She said while smiling coyly.

" Alice you look fantastic." Jasper stuttered

" Dude, if you keep drooling over my sister I'm gonna have to take you out back and beat your ass." Jasper gave me a stunned look. " Joking, but seriously tone it down a bit. It creeps me out seeing you eye her like she's something to eat."

" Bella if you don't get you little ass in here right now you are not going!" Alice suddenly demanded. I had completely forgot about their little mission to make Bella " hip".

" Really?" I heard a small voice out in the hall. " In that case I'm just going to go back to the room"

Hearing that Rosalie stormed toward the door like a woman on a mission. I don't know what was said in the hall but two minutes later Rosalie was walking back trailed by Belle.

I had to do a double take. I couldn't believe this was the same girl that I've been dreading seeing all night. Alice had her in a blue empire waist dress that went down to just above her knees. She had heels on but with no where near the height of Alice or Rosalie. Her hair was probably the most amazing part, it was just cascading with curls everywhere. I finally had to look away before I made an ass out of myself.

" So what do you think?" Alice show cased her off like she was a prize in a game show.

" Smokin!" I could see that Emmett was not going to let that phrase go for the night.

" You look beautiful Bella" Jasper politely said, never taking his eyes off Alice.

" Edward?" Thanks Alice. You just couldn't let me be. Ok I thought, I'll play nice.

" You look very nice." I noticed that her cheeks turned a bright shade of red and she turned to stare down at the floor.

" Ok lets get going before the party get boring. Jasper your driving with me," Suddenly Alice went into auto pilot with the planning. " Rose go with Emmett and Bella your with Edward"

" Alice can't I just go with you and Jasper?" Bella pleaded, no more happy with the decision that I was.

" No room"

" Ok, Rose, then?"

"Nope, Emmett's jeep will just mess up your hair, and I worked to damn hard on it for it to be ruined by a five minute drive."

I didn't know what Alice was up to, but the little hamster in her mind was working overtime with this one.

" Is there any sense in arguing?" I asked

" Nope" Really popping the 'p' at the end.

" Let's just get going then."

We all made out was out to the parking lot and went our separate ways as we got closer to the vehicles. Bella was slowly walking a good five feet behind me.

" Come it's cold out here. I won't bite, I promise" I flashed her my best smile, hoping to break the tension a bit. All I got was a groan.

We made it to my car and out of habit I opened her door for her. Carlisle taught us all that from the time we were able to understand that girls didn't really have cooties. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks and thanked god that is was too dark for her to notice. She got in, not with out a puzzled look on her face, and thanked me. I closed the door and made my way over the drivers side.

" You didn't have to do that " She said as soon as I got my seat belt fastened.

" Just habit, I'm not going to play that nice" I never realized how good she smelt until she was sitting in the close proximity of my car. " Plus, it showcases my gentlemanly attitude to the other ladies"

" See that is what I'm talking about. We can never just have a pleasant conversation. You always have to say something about how you are God's gift to women. I know your smarter than that, I can see that you are. But you hide it, I just don't' know why."

I couldn't think of anything to say to that, so we spent the rest of the ride in silence.

**A/N Hope you all are still interested. Again please keep sending me reviews, it does wonders for my confindece.**

**I'm including a link to the music video of HIM's Solitary Man for those that are interested. They are one of my all time favorite bands. If you 've never heard of them take a look, you just might just like what you see. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**BPOV**

I'd never felt so uncomfortable in my whole life as I had on the ride over to the party. I was going to kill Alice when we got home. She has promised that since I had made an honest effort to be nicer to Edward that I wouldn't have to deal with him tonight.

I have to admit I was kinda looking forward to seeing what his musical taste was. Unfortunately he turned down the radio when we got in. I guessed that just like opening the door for me, he was trying to be polite.

When we finally got to the fraternity I wanted to jump out and kiss the pavement. I never knew you could drive that fast and survive. Of course Alice and Emmett left at the same time and beat us. It must be a Cullen thing. It helps that you have a vehicle that goes over fifty five. My truck would still be turning out of the student parking lot.

I got out of the car and joined Alice and Jasper just ahead of us.

" Alice we are going to have a serious discussion when we get home tonight"

" Oh relax, you know you enjoyed it." She smiled and gave me a wink. What was Tinkerbell up to?

We walked into the house to be blasted with Beyonce's Single Ladies. I silently cringed, your typical house party music I guess. Next thing I knew I was being pulled by Alice to God knows where.

" Bella, how against Tequila are you?" She asked

" Um, Alice, I hate to tell you this but I've never drank before. I don't know if I should be against tequila." I despised having to say this, it just proved I really was a homebody.

" Oh we are going to have fun tonight! Emmett let's start her off with a Jagerbomb. Make it two, I am going to let loose tonight."Jasper and I exchanged scared looks, I had a feeling he was in the same boat as me.

It wasn't long before I stared feeling a little woozy and decided I had tested my limits enough for the night. I was headed to the bathroom when I was stopped by a hand in front of me.

" Hey beautiful," He took my hand and kissed it. I was tipsy enough that I laughed my ass off. Seriously who still did that. " I'm Todd, your name angel?"

" Bella, seriously does that work on anybody?"

" I got your name didn't I"

He had me there. With that I completely forgot where I was going.

**EPOV**

This party sucked ass! It looked like a high school party on steroids. The beer was crappy, the music was worse. There wasn't one self respecting girl in the joint that I'd dare be seen with. With the exception of the three I came with and none of them were options.

I looked around the room and saw that Alice was tearing it up on the kitchen table. She could dance to anything, anywhere. Jasper looked beside himself as every guy there was looking Alice up and down. Good thing for him I new she was head over heals for him.

Emmett and Rosalie we planted up against the wall going at it like there wasn't a room full of people around them. Looks like he might have actually found his equal. I walked over in there direction and patted Emmett on the back.

" Dude we're not in high school anymore, you can go back to your room."

" Yeah but this is alot more kinky" He managed to get out before Rosalie captured his attention again.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella talking to some douche bag. I had heard her tell Alice she'd never drank before and it was sure taking it's toll on her. This guy was no where near the kind of guy she deserved.

Why do I care it suddenly hit me. Let her go out with some frat guy, if that's what she wants. Who was I to tell her any different. I looked up and saw her heading up the stairs with him. What was she doing? She didn't seem like that type. Well I guess you never really know a person.

**BPOV**

I'd been talking to Todd for some time when I noticed Edward out of the corner of my eye. He was just standing there, by himself. I suddenly felt a twang of guilt for not sticking by him for awhile. It was short lived though. I'm sure he was just eyeing his next conquest.

It was then that I realized Todd had said something to me. "What? I didn't hear you" I shouted it over the music. Probably loud than needed though, but I really didn't care.

" I said do you want to go up to one of the rooms where it's quieter. We can talk better there."

" Oh, sure."

I followed him up the stairs and saw that Edward was watching. Take that you rich prick! I'm not just some country bumpkin who sits at home milking cows.

We made is to a room that was quite a bit away from the noise. My ears thanked me, that is they would when they stopped ringing.

I made myself comfy on the edge of the bed and looked up to see Todd still standing by the door. I saw him take his hat off and place it on the outside of the doorknob.

" What are you doing?" I asked, honestly confused.

" That's just so people know somebody is in here. So we don't get interruptedl."

" Oh, well good thinkin" I smiled and winked at him.

Before I knew it he was on the bed with his lips crushed against mine. I pulled back a little a first, but he was much stronger than me and was able to keep me pinned against him. I thought about resisting, but I stopped myself. I thought no, this is what normal girls do while away at college. They make out with random guys at frat parties.

He slowly pushed me down on the bed, increasing his urgency for my mouth. I'd only had a few boyfriends back home, so I hoped I wasn't making an ass out of myself. It was then that I felt his tongue run along my bottom lip. I did what felt natural and opened my mouth wider. It didn't take him long to take advantage of that and shove his tongue in my mouth. He tasted of crown and coke, something I would never have know until tonight.

It was then that things went drastically wrong. He hand was going up my dress and I no longer felt comfortable.

" Please stop" I asked hoping he didn't run off and tell all his buddies how much of a prude I was.

" Oh sweetheart, you can't be that much of a cock tease and not expect me to get something out of it."

Before I had time to respond his lips crushed against mine again, this time with anger. I felt arms being brought up over my head and he started fiddling with something. It didn't dawn on me until he had my arms tied to the bed that it was his belt he was getting off. I could barely breathe. How could this be happening. I was so frozen I couldn't even scream.

Suddenly he was ripping my underwear off be and tossing them to the floor. I'm pretty sure I've gone into shock. Or I'm having an out of body experience. Maybe I'm just having a really bad dream. I was broken out of my trance my an insanely loud scream. Oh good, I am dreaming. I'm back at home and Alice just found a cute pair of shoes online. Wait though, It's not going away.

It dawned on me then that it was me screaming. I felt the pain that went along with that scream. It was unbearable. Like somebody was ripping me in two. I then felt the large body that was on top of me pumping in and out that made me feel like I was burning from the inside out. I started screaming in hysterics. I could feel the dampness of the blood below me on the bed.

I continued screaming knowing damn well nobody would hear me.

**EPOV**

Something wasn't right. I could feel it down to my core. I might not like Bella, but she just doesn't seem like the type of girl to go upstairs with a guy. I'd been watching the stairs pretty closely since she went up there and still hadn't seen her come back down. Maybe I missed her.

I puttered around for a little while longer until it became too much to bear. I went to find Alice to see if Bella was with her. It took awhile to find her, but I finally did. She was passed out on Jaspers lap on the one and only couch.

" Hey Jas, how's she doin?"

" I actually think she is more worn out from the dancing that the drinking."

I laughed lightly, " You haven't seen Bella have you?"

" No, I haven't her since about Alice's fifth shot of Tequila. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. Rosalie was looking for her." I figured that would cover my bases if I found her. I didn't want her to think I'd grown a conscience. " Thanks man, see ya later."

With that I went on my way to finding Emmett. It didn't take long, him and Rosalie hadn't moved from their spot on the wall.

" Seriously guys, get a room"

" Seriously bro, fuck off!"

" Relax, I just want to know if you'd seen Bella"

" Not since we got here" Rosalie suddenly looked very worried almost maternal.

" Something wrong?" Em asked.

" I don't know. Keep you phone on you, k?"

I couldn't believe this. I shouldn't care, she's a big girl and can take care of herself. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. I started to head up the same stairs she and douche bag went up. The music faded the farther up I got, only to be replaced by another sound. It was muffled, but definitely a scream. Or was it a moan?

It was then that I saw the baseball hat hanging outside of one of the rooms. I decided that I would walk up to that door and if nothing seemed out of sorts I would just chalk it up to good old American fun.

I found myself almost running towards the door. These were definitely not moans. Anger started boiling up in my chest. I called Emmett and with what little self control I had left told him to get his ass up stairs. I got to the door and banged as loudly as I could.

" Fuck off!" I heard somebody yell, but I could hear sobbing behind it.

I put all the muscle I could into the door and it swung open. Part of me wished I never have done that. What I saw will never be erased from my mind as long as I live.

" What the fuck are you doing to her?!?!"

**A/N Sorry to leave it there. There are a couple of directions I could go and I need to sleep on it for a night, or what's left of tonight. Your opinions are always welcome, and reviews please please please review!!!**


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N I really want to thank all of you that are leaving reviews. Knowing that people are reading and enjoying this make it worth the while to keep going, thanks :) Keep 'em coming!**

**EPOV**

It didn't take long for the guy in the room to run past me and try to get away. I started running after him, but saw Emmett coming up the stairs.

" Emmett! Grab that guy, and don't let him out of your site. Keep him the fuck away from this room and away from me and call 911." I saw Emmett grab the guy and put him in a headlock like it was no big deal. He then shoved him into the nearest room and I heard some things breaking. I almost felt bad that I had sicced Emmett on him, almost.

I ran back in the room Bella was in to find her still screaming. Well., kind of screaming. It started out as a scream and ended in sobs that were so sad they made me want to cry. I don't think I would ever forget that sound. Bella's eyes were shut so tight, her whole face was red. And her wrist were raw from trying to get out of the belt he had tied around them to secure her to the bed.

" Bella, it's me Edward. I'm gonna try to untie you, but you are going to have to calm down." I reached out to try to grab her arms and she lashed out at me, and started screaming at full force again. She quickly moved further up the bed and it was then that I saw the blood soaked sheets. I started toward the door, but turned back around. As much as I wanted to beat the living hell out of that dick, I couldn't leave Bella. I tried once more to get Bella out of her restraints only to be met with same reception. This time she scooted so far up and to the side of the bed that she fell off, landing between the wall and the bed. I though this might be the only chance I would get, I was wrong. I was able to get the belt off the bed, but when I reached for her again she lashed out again, but this time with her feet. I didn't know what else do for her, but let her scream it out.

Finally I could hear an ambulance approaching. Relief rushed through my body. I don't know if I could stand here and watch Bella fall apart in front of me any longer. At least now, she was just crying in her corner, the screaming had stopped. Just then I heard a tap on the door.

" Edward?" Damn Alice! I couldn't let her see this. She would try to be strong, but she always took things too personal. As if she could have predicted it and stopped it. I ran quickly to the door before she opened it and stepped out. " Edward, what's going on? Is Bella in there?"

" Yes" I sighed. How was I going to explain this without her freaking out. " There was a problem, but help is coming."

"I want to see her, talk to her"

" You can't help her right now Alice."

" What the hell is going on? Why won't you let me talk to her?" Tears started to well up in her eyes.

" She's not Bella right now. Just do me a favor. She is going to need a change of clothes. So go back to your room and get her something comfortable to wear. Nothing fancy Alice, you hear me. Just some sweats and a sweatshirts. Bring them down to the hospital, ok?"

" Hospital? I have to see her." She tried pushing me out of the way. And even though she was small she could get move a mountain if she put her mind to it. But I was more determined than her. She was not seeing Bell a like that, no way in hell. But I'd pushed her too far. " Get the fuck out of the way, I want to see my friend!"

" Alice listen to me. You cannot,let me rephrase that, I will not let you go in that room. You can't do anything for her now. But what we do need you to do is get her clothes. It's very important that you get those for her. Ok Alice?"

" Ok, will you tell her I'll see her at the hospital." She'd calm down marginally.

" Yes I will let her know. Now go, Jasper is waiting for you." I walked her slowly down the hallway towards Jasper who was at the top of the stairs. " Jasper, I've told Alice that she needs to go back and get Bella some new clothes. Will you accompany her?" He nodded at me and I let Alice pass by me. When she was clear I pulled Jaspers ear near my mouth. " Get her out of her before the ambulance arrives, and don't' let her come back" He nodded again, more solemnly this time. He began to walk Alice down the stairs and I could see just over his head the Rosalie was standing at the bottom with tears flowing. I couldn't tell her to stay away, but by the look on her face I had a feeling I wouldn't need to.

I walked back down the hallway and began to wonder what was taking the paramedics so long. I braced myself as I got closer to the door,and placed my hand on the knob. It was eerily quiet in there. I walked in and saw Bella huddled in the same corner rocking back and forth.

" Bella, it's Edward. Can I come sit by you?" She looked up at me then and I was mortified. Her face had been too contorted to see when she was screaming, but now she was calmer and her face more relaxed she was hurt more than I knew. Her face was red still, but not from the screaming but from the open cuts all over face. He lip was split wide open and her left eye was beginning to swell shut. It looked like a chunk of hair had been ripped out, for where it use to be now was blood coming down her face. There were a dozen more minor injuries but I had to stop counting, I was getting madder by the moment.

" Edward?" She began to cry again. I walked slowly and carefully toward her, not wanting the kicking and screaming to start again.

" We've got help coming, ok? And Emmett is taking care of your problem in another room. He's not going to hurt you again. Everything is going to be fine." I knew I was lying to her, nothing would ever be fine for her again. What else can you say though? " Can I do anything to help you?"

She leaned slightly toward me but didnt' say a word. I knew what she wanted, and I gave in. I wrapped my arms around her and let her bury her face in my chest. As she did so, she began to sob lightly again.

I don't know how long we sat there, seconds, minutes, hours, but the next thing I know the paramedics were knocking on the door. They entered quietly and moved slowly, Emmett must have given them a gist of what had happened. I silently thanked him, I could only imagine what they could have done to her if they had just barged in.

" Ma'am, can we take a look at you, where here to help?" One of the paramedics asked. He was talking to Bella but looking at me. Almost as if he was asking my permission.

" Bella, I need you to turn around." I whispered in her ear. She didn't respond, I didn't know what to do.

The paramedic seeing that I wasn't getting anywhere decided to test their luck. One reached out and touched Bella's shoulder and the next thing I know I getting knocked on my ass. The screaming started again and so was the kicking. I reached my hand up to my lip and pulled it away, blood. Just then I saw Bella bring her hands up, which were still tied by the belt, and swing then like a bat. They made contact with one of the paramedics. I saw now how I got my bloody lip.

" We're gonna have to sedate her, get it ready." They had barely spoke the words and one had a needle out. It wasn't two seconds later he had it jabbed in her thigh and pushing down on it. I was amazed by how fast it worked, it was only seconds and she was slumped over onto the floor. While one guy got her fixed to the gurney the other tried to get as much information from me as possible.

" Can you tell me how she sustained her injuries?" I just looked up at him. Did you seriously just ask that. I didn't know how to answer him. If I said it out loud it became real. Sensing my tentativeness he rephrased. " Just let me know, do we need to do a rape kit"

I nodded

I watched then as then strapped her securely to the gurney and began to wheel her out. I'd never felt more helpless in my life. She looked so alone lying there.

" Can I come?" the words were out of my mouth before I had thought them through.

" You her boyfriend?" One asked.

"Yes" I answered again without skipping a beat. It was as if my mouth had a mind of it's own.

They looked at each other skeptically, but finally relented and nodded for me to follow them. As we walked down the hall I saw that the police were in the room Emmett had taken Mr. Douche and he was getting cuffed. Emmett was now standing at the bottom of the stairs comforting Rosalie. He looked at me with worry as I made my was down the stairs. That was until we heard a scuffle break out behind us.

" Where the fuck is my ambulance?? That fucking bitch broke my nose. Not to mention what ape man down there did to me."

That was the last straw, I didn't care if the police were here. I stopped and turned in my tracks. I went to take a step and felt a large hand on my chest.

" It's not worth it bro" Emmett was looking me right in the eye, and I'd never seen him more serious. I knew he was right, so I just turned around silently and jogged to catch up with Bella.

**BPOV**

Something wasn't right. I could here voices, but I couldn't speak. Feel hands on my body but not respond. Some voices were familiar, other were foreign. I couldn't comprehend what was going on.

Suddenly I felt my body rise up in the air. Was I dead, was I having an out of body experience and this is what it felt like to have your soul leave your body?

I suddenly remembered what had happened. I tried to scream, but still couldn't find my voice. Tried to break free, but was still bound. Did he still have me? Had he taken me out without anybody seeing? He couldn't have, my memory remembers somebody coming to my aid.

Edward!

How had he found me? The last time I'd seen him was when I was going up the stairs. I cursed myself. I was so dead set on proving to him I wasn't born yesterday, that I hadn't realized what I was walking into.

I did this to myself.

I deserved my punishment.


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**EPOV**

Once we got settled in the ambulance the paramedic started assessing the damage. Then he pulled out a camera and started snapping pictures. This confused me. Did he think she'd make a scrapbook of this event later. Wouldn't want to forget how she got every mark. Oh look here's the scar I got when I got the living shit kicked out of me, what a fun day!

" It's for documentation."

" I'm sorry, what?"

" The camera. If she files charges, she'll want pictured of her injuries. After we get her cleaned up we'll take more. Kind of a before and after. It seems to help get these guys put away."

" Oh, I see. How much does it help? I mean, will he go to jail."

" I don't know kid. After she leaves the bus I don't get involved any further. I hope so, for her sake. You need me to look at that lip?" I'd forgotten about my lip to be honest. I reached my hand up and touched . It stung a little, but nothing I couldn't handle.

" No, I'm good."

" I have to say, you are holding yourself together pretty well. If this were my girl, that guy would have been laid out on his ass."

" How much help could I be her, if I was locked up for the night?"

" Yeah I guess your right. That's why you've found the love of your life and I'm single I guess."

"What?"

" Look I'm not one of your buddies and I won't tell them. But I see the way you've looked at her. I might be single but I know what love looks like, and you two got it."

I was too stunned to answer. This guy was really beginning to annoying me. Of course I was to blame. Who spoke before he thought and said he was her boyfriend. That's right, me! But how could this guy just say that. Love of my life. Yeah right, only if we wanted to spend our lives in hell. I'd never met a girl who got on my nerves more than Bella. Alice was close, but in a sisterly way. Bella just exhausted my last nerve every time I was around her. Like she was put on this planet just to aggravate me.

She was beautiful though. Not like drop dead gorgeous, but a more natural, classic beauty. The way she bit her lip when she was thinking had to have drove the guys wild in high school. That habit paired up with the nice shade of red her cheeks turned when embarrassed was a deadly combo. And her scent was divine, strawberries and honey. I'd never realized how intoxicating it was until the ride over to the frat house. If she didn't piss me off so much I would have been all over her.

We finally arrived at the hospital and I followed the paramedics into the hospital. We'd only gotten a few feet in and I was stopped.

" Look kid, you can't be in there with her right now. Go get something to eat and sit in the waiting room. I'll let them know who you are so they can some get you when she's ready."

I nodded and turned to make my way to the waiting room. I wasn't really all that hungry but coffee did sound good. I found a coffee machine and after several lost dollars and no coffee I gave up and went to find myself a seat and wait.

I found an empty chair next to the wall and went to take a seat. I ran my hands through my hair and rested my head on my hands. For some reason I couldn't shake what the paramedic had said. This shouldn't' bother me this much. I mean I had told the guy I was her boyfriend. I should be happy he bought it. If he hadn't I wouldn't have been able to tag along.

Why did I want to tag along? She wasn't my responsibility. I did what I could and now there's no reason for me to stick around. I could be back in my room right now sleeping. Yeah right, sleep. As if I could sleep after all this. I wouldn't have been able to until I knew she was alright. Why?

" Oh my God. I'm in love with her." My mouth betrayed me again by saying that out loud.

I couldn't be. The time I'd spent with her we'd been at each others throats. The girl got on my nerves. Or was I just hiding my feelings from myself. The girls I normally dated were nothing like Bella. Bella was smart, and has a mind of her own. And I think the fact that I have money is actually a turn off for her. She's everything I've been looking for and I was too afraid to admit it when I found it.

What piss poor timing this revelation came. I couldn't very well tell her this. I could imagine it in my head:

" Yeah so I know you had a really crappy night with the rape and all, but I just found out that I love you. You wanna go out to dinner or something?"

" Fuck you, Cullen!"

I might be exaggerating but really, what kind of douche would spring this on her. I would just wait it out. It wouldn't be that bad.

I leaned my head back on the wall and must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake.

" Sir? Sir?" I finally opened my eyes and say a nurse standing in front of me " You can go see your girlfriend now. She's awake, but she's not talking. Maybe if you sat with her for awhile it would help. The police really need to get a statement."With that I followed her down the hallway as we made our way to her room.

Once we got there the nurse pushed the door open for me, but did not follow me in. I have to admit I was scared shitless. I knew how to act around her before, but with this new realization I was lost.

I walked up to her bed slowly, still not sure if she was still in fight mode. Her back was to me and I didn't want to frighten her. As I rounded the bed I could see her eyes were open, but void of any feeling. She'd been emotionally and physically drained. I honestly don't' know if anyone was going to get her to make a statement tonight.

" Hey there Bells, how you doing?" Stupid question, stupid question.

" Edward??"

" Yeah, it's me. I come in peace" I put my hands in the air, hoping to get a smile. I didn't. " Listen, they sent me in here to see if you would be up to talking to the police. I know you don't want to, but the sooner these things get done the better. What do you say"

" No"

" Come on, just get it out of the way. I'm sure you know with your dad being a cop and all that you have to give a statement to press charges."

" I'm not pressing charges."

" Bella, be serious. This guy needs to be punished. What if he does this to someone else?"

This made her think. A single tear fell down the side of her face and it took all of my will not to wipe it away.

" I just can't" It came out just barely as a whisper.

" We'll talk about this later. Get some sleep."She closed her eyes and was asleep with in moments.

It wasn't too long before I heard a tap at the door. In walked Alice.

" Oh Edward, is she ok?" she was already in tears.

" I don't know Alice. I only talked to here for a few minutes before she went to sleep."

" Well, what has the doctor said?"

"I'm not family so they won't tell me. When she wakes up, you need to talk to her. She won't make a statement to the police."

" Was she..." She got hung up on the last word.

" Yes I think so. Actually I'm pretty sure" I looked up at Alice and saw her eyes filling up with tears again.

" Emmett said you rode with her over her. How'd that happen."

"I might have lied" I looked at her sheepishly. " I told them I was her boyfriend. They probably weighed their options and figured they shouldn't leave me at the house with that dick upstairs. So they let me come."

" Edward, look at me" Shit!!! I was screwed, but I knew better than to fight with Alice. I turned and looked at her. " I knew it! I just knew it. All that nonsense about hating each other. You love her don't you?"

" Alice, don't you think this is kinda the wrong time to talk about this?"

" Fine, but we will talk about it. You can't deny it forever." At this a huge smile spread across her face. I have to admit it felt nice to see it there.

We sat there and talked while Bella slept. Every so often she would mumble something and we thought she was waking up. It always turned out she was just talking in her sleep. After awhile the nurse came in and told Alice she had to leave. I was allowed to stay being I was her boyfriend and all. Alice started to fight the nurse but she wasn't having it. And so I sat there alone again, with Bella, my love.

**BPOV**

I couldn't' believe Edward had stayed this whole time. I would have thought that once the ambulance came he'd put his cape away and save it for the next damsel in distress. I have to say I was impressed. I was especially surprised when he didn't leave after I feigned falling asleep. Truth is I was just sick of talking. Or listening really, I didn't do much talking.

After a few moments I heard Alice enter the room. I almost opened my eyes but decided that I just wasn't up for it yet. She'd want to ask question and I didn't have it in me.

Her and Edward talked, mostly about me. I was quite surprised and relieved that Edward didn't share all the gory details with her. Most people would have been biting at the bit to share that kind of juicy gossip. Or at least where I'm from.

The conversation then turned to how Edward had gotten to ride with me in the ambulance. My ears perked up with this question. I didn't know he had.

"I might have lied. I told them I was her boyfriend. They probably weighed their options and figured they shouldn't leave me at the house with that dick upstairs. So they let me come." I heard Edward say.

What! This coming from the guy that can't have one decent conversation with me. I have to say I was relieved. I don't know why, but I was. Maybe I just knew he wouldn't make a big deal out of things.

" Edward, look at me I knew it! I just knew it. All that nonsense about hating each other. You love her don't you?" My head was spinning. Did I just hear Alice right. She must be out of her mind.

" Alice, don't you think this is kinda the wrong time to talk about this?"

He didn't deny it! I couldn't believe this. Was he just faking it the whole time. I should be upset, but I wasn't.

" Fine, but we will talk about it. You can't deny it forever." Alice stated. I swear I could hear the smile spread across her face.

Suddenly I felt bad. I'd eavesdropped on their conversation. Not only that but now I didn't know how to act around him. Maybe I was reading too much into this. I didn't see his face when she asked him. For all I know he looked disgusted at even the thought of loving me. My heart dropped at that thought. Did I care for him too?

This was too much to handle for one night. I finally let my mind start to slip off to sleep. Hoping that when I woke up it would all just be a dream.

**A/N Well , hope I still have your interest. This chapter was a little hard to write. I didn't know how I was going to have Edward realize his feelings. I debated on waiting for him to realize many many chapters later, but decided the tension would make for a better story. Again reviews are always welcome, good, bad, indifferent, keep them coming!**


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**BPOV**

I woke up is a state of confusion. I didn't know if I'd slept for days or just hours. I thought about opening my eyes but I didn't know if I was ready for that. I'm sure as soon as they new I was awake they would send in the police, and I hadn't made up my mind yet.

I knew that I should press charges. But then I would have to tell the police what happened, then a lawyer, and then a whole courtroom. Everyone in the world would know I got all dressed up like a common trollop and figure I just cried wolf when I got caught. And of course I had to get saved by Mr. Wonderful himself.

I had time to think about Alice and Edward's conversation. I knew I misunderstood what he meant about not wanting to talk about it right now. Of course he didn't have feelings for me, he just didn't want to tell Alice how much he truly despised me. I really didn't know how I even thought he could care for me.

Unfortunately I did think I cared for him, at least more than I was telling myself. I mean, he's gorgeous that's just a given, but he's also intelligent and caring. I saw how he was with Alice and Emmett, family was everything to him. Part of me knew that he would treat any girl he was with, with the same respect. How could that not be attractive? I had to get this out of my mind, it wasn't happening, he hates me.

Just then I felt I hand touch mine. I wasn't aware anyone was still in the room. I was glad I hadn't opened my eyes yet. I have to say I was a little curious as to who was touching me. Then the door opened.

" Hey, little bro, you stay here all night?" It was Emmett. I had such good friends. Of course that meant it was Edward in the room., holding my hand.

"Yeah, in case she woke up, didn't want her freaking out or anything. How's Alice?"

" Better. She cried a good part of the night, but Jasper stayed with her. He's a pretty good guy. A lot of guys would have gone running if this happened on their second date."

I felt suddenly sad thinking about Alice. She was the very best friend a person could ask for. I'd have to let her play dress up with me more often. I'm really glad she found Jasper, he seemed to be the yin to her yang. He was so calm and collected, while Alice was Tinkerball on crack. Perfect for each other.

" How much longer you stayin" Emmett asked him.

" I don't know. I was going to try to convince her to make a statement to the police. She says she's not going to. I don't know what to do, Em. If nothing happens to this guy, I don't know what I'd do if I saw him around campus." He actually sounded concerned. My mind couldn't grasp this. I started to move so they new I was waking up. I didn't want them knowing I'd listened to their conversation. " Bella? You up?"

"Yeah" My throat felt like it was on fire. It hurt to talk.

" Say as little as possible, keep it to yes and no's." Edward said to me. Both Emmett and I looked at him in confusion. " One of the only things the doctors would tell me is that you've got some extreme bruising done to your throat area, due to being strangled, so it might hurt to talk for awhile. Also don't' be shocked if you look in a mirror, the blood vessels in your eyes burst for the same reason. Your eyes are a little on the red side."

I just nodded. I didn't know how to comprehend this information. How could I ever walk around campus again. By now it's got to be riddled with rumors. For the next four years people would avoid me like the plague. This was suppose to be the best experience of my life. Now I was a social leper.

" Do you want some water?"

" Yeah, thanks." Edward turned around in his chair and produced a mug of water. I took a sip and my throat felt marginally better. " Thanks you guys, for being here for me"

" No prob Bells." It was Emmett that said this and I smiled at his use of fathers nickname. It made me feel like I belonged.

Just then the door creaked open and from behind Emmett I could see Alice and Jasper walking in. I couldn't hold the tears in any longer, I let them flow. I felt a small pair of arms embrace me. She was crying just as much as I was. It killed me that it was over me.

" Alice, be careful, she's still really sore." I realized that I still had a hold of Edwards and hand and I must have tightened my grip when Alice hugged me. In truth it hurt, but I wasn't going to tell her, the hug felt good.

" Shut up Edward, not all of us can keep our feelings in check like you" With that Alice stuck her tongue out. I felt Edward's hand falter slightly but stayed put. Probably not wanting to be bested by Alice. The whole family was competitive like that.

" It's ok, it feels nice. You guys are too good to me. You should be out having fun, not sitting here. I'll be fine." I took another drink of water, the more I talked the easier it got.

They all skeptically looked at each other. They didn't believe me. Hell I didn't believe me. Having them here was great. I wanted to be left alone, but was afraid to be alone. My head was all out of whack. I hoped I'd be back to normal soon.

A nurse popped her head in just then.

" Ms. Swan, the police are here, they really need to talk to you"

I started to breathe faster, and I could feel my head getting lighter. Then I felt Edward's hand grip mine a little tighter. Amazingly it calmed me down.

" I think we should all give her a little time to talk to the officers alone." Edward said and started to get up. I grabbed his hand tighter. He looked down at me confused. I couldn't' explain it, but I needed him here. He was the only one who had seen me at my absolute worst.

I needed him.

**EPOV**

Everyone in the room looked at me as they walked out the door. I didn't know what to say. Bella wanted me to stay. I don't know why. But I was beyond the point of denying her anything she wanted. I had to try to see why though.

" Bella don't you think this is something you should do by yourself? Do you really want me to hear this?"

" You walked in on the worst of it. I just need your strength. You always have it so together, I need that" She rasped. " But if you don't want to stay I'd understand."

Yeah right.

" No if that's what you want I'll stay. Just let me know if you get uncomfortable. I'll leave."

" Thanks"

" For what?"

" For putting up with me. I know I'm the last person you want to be with right now. I promise I'll try harder not to get on your nerves."

" Bella..."

The cops interrupted my sentence. I didn't know what I was going to say to her anyway. I really didn't think now was a good time to tell her I'd stay by her for as long as she wanted me around. No, something told me it might be inappropriate.

" Now Ms Swan we need you to start at the beginning. How did you meet Todd ?"

" Um, that night at the party. He stopped me and asked my name. We talked for a few moments and then he suggested we go upstairs where it was quieter."

" Why did you go with him?" the cop gave her a look that doubted what she was saying.

" Hey , hey, wait now. This is about what he did. Why do I feel like your interrogating her?"

" Sir, we need to know what her state of mind was. If you can't control yourself you'll have to leave."

I saw Bella's chest start to heave. This obviously stressed her out. I squeezed her hand again, that seemed to work the last time I did it. Slowly her breathing became normal again.

"So, what made you think it was a good idea to go upstairs with him?" He asked it a little cockier this time.

" Honestly it made sense. We were having a hard time hearing each other downstairs."

" Did you have anything to drink." I opened my mouth to say something, but was shot down by the look he gave me.

" I had a few shot of Tequila. But I was just tipsy, I wasn't drunk, I swear." She sounded like she was trying to convince her parents not talking to a cop about some pervert.

" Explain what happened after you got upstairs"

" Well we got to a room and it started off fine, just kissing. Then he got more aggressive. He pushed me down on the bed and started sliding his hand up my skirt." She stopped to take a breathe and a drink of her water. " I started to feel uncomfortable so I asked him to stop. That's when he said " you can't be a cock tease" or something like that. Then he took off his belt and tied me to the bed with that. " She started to tear up. I felt helpless." Then we ripped of my underwear. I tried to fight him off but that's when he started hitting me and he eventually just pinned me to the bed by my neck. Once he had me pinned down, that's when he.."She was stuck. I knew what she wanted to say, but I couldn't say it either.

**" **Did he penetrate you?" The cop asked. He said it in a way that was void of feeling. Like this was something that happened everyday. Well of course it was, but not in our world.

" Yes" With that she began to sob uncontrollable again. I just kept squeezing her hand, hoping I was helping.

" When did he stop?"

" When I came in and got his ass off her" I was finally to able to talk.

" Ok, well, I think that's enough for today. But you both will have to come down and finish this up. This is enough to get things rolling."

With that both officers walked out of the room. I got up to follow them out, but again my hand was gripped tighter.

" I'll be right back I promise" I squeezed her hand back, letting her know I wasn't lying.

I ran out the door and chased the officers down.

" Excuse me, officer, can I have your card please?"

" Card? This kids watched to many Law and Order episodes. I'm just here to get a statement, not lead up the investigation. They don't give us cards. Why?"

"Don't you think you were a little harsh. After what she's been through, I think you could have saved your skepticism for another day."

" Look kid, have you ever had to deal with this kind of thing before? " He waited for my answer, I didn't have one." I didn't think so. You say you stopped this guy? Well I think you might just have to come to terms with the fact that all you saw was your girlfriend cheating on you. This happens all the time, convince her to tell the truth, before it goes to far. Then we won't be back filing calling in a false report charges."

" You can look at her face and say that she wanted this to happen? That she's just upset she got caught?" I was the end of my rope.

" For all we know you did that, after you caught her steppin out on you."

I lunged at him but was stopped by the other officer.

" Stop before I have to handcuff you" then he leaned closer to my ear " Officer Mc Miller his supervisor is Captain Fowler. "

I took a step back and gave him one last stare. He was unbelievable, but not worth my time. So I turned around and went back to Bella's room.

" Everything ok?" She asked, her eyes red from the recent crying.

" Yeah, just wanted to clear up some things."

With that I went back to my chair and reclaimed my position of holding her hand. If anything it at least made me feel better. I really hoped she got better soon. My feelings were getting hard to hide.

From Bella and myself.


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**BPOV**

I stayed in the hospital one more night. I felt trapped there. Always someone coming in asking how I was, how I was feeling. Chained to my bed, like I might fall over if I tried to walk on my own. I didn't get hit by a bus, I was raped. I would heal, someday.

Not that being back at the dorms was much better. Alice barely left me by myself. Constantly watching me like I was just minutes away from a breakdown. I know she was only doing it because she cared, but still I felt like a caged rat there too. I had to get out of here, go for a walk.

" Alice, I'm gonna go for a walk, k"

" You want me to come with you?" it wasn't a question, she was already getting up to get her jacket.

" No, no, I want to go by myself, clear my head."

" Bella I really don't think that's a good idea. I mean you just got home..."

" Alice, I'm a big girl, I'll be fine." She gave me a look that said she didn't believe me. " I'm taking my cell phone. I'll call if I have problems. But I won't because it's just a little walk."

"Ok, but if you've been gone too long I'm calling you." All I could do was roll my eyes. I grabbed my hoodie and got the hell out of there before she changed her mind and followed me.

By the time I made it outside it had started to sprinkle. I pulled my hood up over my head and put my head down. I was not going to let a little rain ruin this. I had to go down to the police station and give the rest of my statement at the end of the week. I really didn't know if I could handle it. I just wanted to put the whole thing behind me.

I starting walking toward the cafeteria. I was getting hungry and I was sick of the fruit salads and pizza Alice was bringing me. I needed something different, some kind of pasta sounded good.

I was almost there, when I saw him. How is he here? I thought he was in jail, he should be in jail. I couldn't move, but I knew I had to make my self invisible, now! I didn't know what he'd do if he saw me. I'm sure he was mad at me, I don't want to know what he's like when he's mad. But I was too late.

" Hey you, yeah you bitch!" He screamed. I still couldn't moved. " Do you know what you've done? I'm fucked! Look at me whore!"

I couldn't look up, if I did I would cry. He couldn't see me cry.

" Ashamed are we? Yeah I would to if I'd called the cops over nothing."

Nothing, over nothing? No, that was it.

" Nothing! You took advantage of me! I said NO" everyone was looking, but I didn't care. I was already an outcast.

" No sweetheart I remember pretty clearly you agreed to go upstairs." He ran his finger up my jaw line, I shivered at the very contact of him. " Now you call rape because you regret it? Fuck that, my dad has lawyers lined up. You will regret this you little...."

" HEY!!!" I looked behind me to see Emmett running up behind me. I took this as my chance to get out of there. It wasn't fair to leave Emmett but I couldn't stay there.

I ran as fast as I could back up to my room. When I got there, I almost broke through the door trying to get in. Damn doorknob. I finally got through and made a beeline to the bathroom.

"Bella?" Alice asked.

I couldn't answer her right now,I had to wash the filth off my body.

**EPOV**

I'd spent all day down at the police station giving them the rest of my statement. They asked so many question I thought my head would explode. At least this time I talked to different officers. I'd spoken to Officer Douche bag's captain before we started. He said I wasn't the first person to complain and that he was going to take care of the problem. I hoped so. People in Bella's situation did not need to be talked to like that. It takes enough courage just to speak about it, they don't need to be questioned about their motives.

I reached my car and rushed to jump in, it was pouring out. I'd barely got the key in the ignition before by cell started ringing. I looked at the caller ID, Alice. Great, I'm sure she's want a run down of what all had gone on.

"Alice...."

"Where the hell have you been? I have been calling and calling." She was screaming.

" I've been at the police station, remember. I left my phone in the car so I wouldn't get interrupted. What is wrong?"

" It's Bella"I hung up the phone. It didn't matter what was wrong, that name was enough to make me want to get back fast.

I'd never driven so fast in my life, yet time was going so slow. I swear I hit every red light known to man. My heart was racing and my mind was a mess trying to think of what could have happened. I cursed myself for not staying on the phone with Alice.

I got to the dorms and barely had my car in park before I jumped out. I must have looked like a mad man running, people were looking at me like I'd gone insane. When I finally made it up to Alice's room, her, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were all huddled around the bathroom door.

" What the hell happened?" I said while trying to catch my breath.

" She wanted to go for a walk by herself so I thought I'd give her some space." Alice was stuttering.

" What happened?" I was trying to be calm,but my patience was wearing thin.

" Emmett found her out by the cafeteria." It was Rosalie that answered. " He had her pinned to the wall, yelling, calling her names."

She didn't have to say who "he" was, I knew. I couldn't believe this, I thought he was still locked up. I wiped my hands over my face and then back up to my hair. Finally I walked over to the bathroom door where the rest of them were gathered. I could hear the shower running, but nothing else.

" How long has she been in there?"

" Thirty maybe forty minutes." Emmett said " She won't let any of us in. What should we do?"

I walked past them all and leaned into the door.

" Bella, this is Edward. Would you open the door?" I listened, but heard nothing. " I really need to talk to you. Everyone is really worried about you. Open the door please." The door clicked. I was in shock. That's what we wanted but we weren't prepared for when it happened. " Alice you go in" I looked at her.

" No, you. She opened the door for you." Alice smile lightly.

I walked in and my heart broke. She was just sitting in the shower underneath the stream of water, shivering. Her clothes we clinging to her frail body and her hair was stuck to her face. I looked around the room, like I was going to find the answer written on the wall somewhere.

Finally I made a decision. I started to take off my shoes and shirt. Alice would kill me if I got these wet. I braced myself for what I was sure was cold water, and stepped in the shower. I stepped slowly toward her, not knowing what kind of frame of mind she was in. She never looked up, so I bent down to her level not yet in the path of the water.

" Do you want to talk?" I knew the answer.

She shook her head, so I lowered myself next to her on the cold tile floor. Just like before she leaned into me and I immediately knew what she wanted. I put my arms around her and she leaned into my chest and started to sob.

We sat there for a few minutes before I reached up and turned the faucet off. I kept my hold on her the whole time. She was shivering so bad I didn't know if she had given herself hypothermia. I started to rub my hands up and down her shoulders, hoping to warm her up a bit. She never said a word.

After awhile a heard the sobbing stop. I looked down and saw she was asleep on my chest. I took my hand and brushed the damp hair off of her face. I couldn't help myself any longer and then brushed my hand across her cheek and over her lips.

" Edward"

I stopped. How was I going to explain this. Here I come in to help her and end up taking advantage of her just like that prick. I was disgusted with myself. I was so selfish. I waited for a verbal and physical lashing that never came. I looked back down saw she was still sleeping. I laughed to myself. I'd forgotten that she talked in her sleep, something Alice and I figured out at the hospital.

Why had she said my name? Maybe it just because I was the last person she saw. It wouldn't surprise me if she was actually cussing me out in her dream. I had the knack of pissing her off without trying.

After a few more moments of silence I decided to try to move her so I could get Alice. The more I tried to get her off me the more she latched on. Finally I gave up and just picked her up and made my way to the door. I had problems with the knob and someone on the other side came to my rescue and opened it.

" Alice can you get her some dry clothes?" I asked after everyone was done gasping. Without a word Alice ran over to Bella's dresser and pulled out some sweats and a sweater. " I don't know how we're going to do this, she won't let go of me." If this hadn't been such a sad sight I knew "ahh" was hanging of all their tongues.

" Here, let just do this one arm at a time. Rosalie can you help me. Jasper, Emmett out!" She pointed her finger toward the door and they both followed her instruction without question. It took awhile but with some careful maneuvering we got both of us out of our wet clothes and into dry.

With that I laid down on Bella's bed and watched her sleep. I knew it was pathetic, but I savored the time I got to lay there . It might be the only time I get to touch her, to feel her soft skin and take in her exotic smell. I could lay here forever with her in my arms. I hoped one day it would be under better circumstances.

Next thing I knew Alice was covering us both with a blanket.

" Thanks Alice"

" No, thank you. We would still be huddled at the door if you hadn't come. You saved her."

" Alice.."

" No, Edward, you did. You have something she needs. She needs you, be there for her."

Alice walked away then and got into her own bed. I didn't know if what she was saying was true. But if it was, all Bella had to do was ask and I would be there for her. No questions asked. I was hers, for as long as she needed me and longer.


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**BPOV**

I awoke the next morning feeling oddly refreshed. Like a new era was beginning. Yesterday, had been hell, but I'd made it through it, barely, but I did. I was proud of myself. I was even proud that I had stood up for myself to the ass hole. Never mind the fact that he still did get me to cry, but I said my peace before that happened.

I stretched my hand over my head and went to turn when I felt something beside me. I briefly wondered if it had all been a dream. He really had kidnapped me and it was him beside me. I slowly peaked over my shoulder and was even more surprised when I saw Edward sound asleep next to me. It hit me then, that he came in and sat with me in the shower. I cringed, he'd seen me at my absolute worse, again. Maybe that's why I was okay with him seeing me this way. He can't think any lower of me, when he's seen the worst of me.

I tried to get up with out disturbing him, but with my clumsiness I failed miserably. He started to stir. I looked at him as he woke and felt a small smile spread across my face. He was quite adorable when he was sleeping. Finally he opened his eyes.

" Morning" I said, really hoping he would just let what happened yesterday go.

" Hey. Morning to you too." He smiled and it was the most gorgeous crooked smile I'd ever seen. What the hell was going on with me.

" Look, I don't want to talk about it, but I want to just say, thank you. And leave it at that."

" No prob, anytime. Though next time could you leave some hot water for me?"I had to laugh. Leave it to Edward to make a joke. I have to admit though it felt good to laugh. " There we go, there's the Bella everyone has been looking for. I'm starving. You wanna go get some food?"

" Yeah, let me get dressed" I was a little confused. Since when were we friends. I mean I know we'd kind of gotten past the whole, hating each other like crazy, but I didn't know we'd gotten to this point.

Then it hit me, he was my babysitter for the day. Figures, Alice hadn't wanted me to go for my walk by myself, and now after what happened yesterday, I would never be left alone again. This was just great, I would never have a moment alone again.

I got dressed in a hurry. I wanted to get this cleared up on the walk over to the cafeteria. I did not need a babysitter. I was an adult, I should be treated like one.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, Edward was standing by the door waiting, smiling. Suddenly, that crooked smile made me want to puke. It wasn't so gorgeous anymore when I knew there was a reason behind it.

" Ready" I blew past him without saying a word and headed down the hall.

Too bad I was too clumsy to make my " pissed off walk" have an effect on Edward. Most of the time I could just hear him laughing as he rushed to catched up with me.

" Hey Bella, slow down. You're going to hurt yourself, they can always make more Fettuccini." His laughing got to be annoyingly unbearable.

" So who's day is it tomorrow?" I spat out as I spun around to face him.

"What? I don't understand what you mean?" His laughing had stopped and now he looked serious.

" I see what you guys are doing. I know you think I'm stupid but I don't need to be chauffeured around. So who's day is it tomorrow so I know who to avoid?"

" Bella, whatever you think is going on, it's not. Why would we baby sit you? I don't have the time to watch you like a child." Now he looked mad. Why was he mad, because he got caught.

" Well I think it's pretty obvious don't you. You can't stand me, yet here you are. you stayed with me last night and now you just ask me to go get something to eat with you. You expect me to believe it's out of the kindness of you heart."

" Believe what you want Bella." He turned around and started to walk away. I wasn't going to let him. I had it with people taking advantage of me.

" No, I want you to treat me like you use to. Insult me, make fun of me!" I was yelling now. I felt like he wasn't hearing me. Like I was invisible.

" I can't do that Bella" He looked torn, I couldn't figure out why.

" Why?! Because of what happened? Forget that, I just want things to go back to normal. Hate me!"

" I can't!" He'd pushed me too far.

" Why not!" I want to reach out and push him, but he grabbed my hands.

" Because I think I love you"

**EPOV**

Fuck!

This is not how I wanted this conversation to go. I was going to wait until we had this whole rape thing behind us and then slowly bring her around to the idea of even liking me. Not a screaming fight in the middle of campus.

" I think I love you" I let go of her hands.

" Are you shitting me?" I had to laugh when she cussed. It sounded so unnatural. " I knew you were joking, you're laughing. At least you're treating me like you use to now. Get my hopes all up and then crush them like a bug." She rubbed her foot on the ground like she was squishing a spider, and laughed.

"What?" Had she just said I got her hopes up? Did she feel the same way I did.

" Oh come on. You expect me to believe that you have any kind of feeling other than disgust for me. You are gorgeous, insanely smart, and have money falling our of your ass, what could I offer you. Someone lie Rosalie is more in your range. Come on let's go get that food. I feel better now that I know you're not going to be falsely nice to me anymore."

" Bella I'm serious. You're kinda crushing a guys heart here. I wish you could see you the way I see you. You are beautiful, smarter than I gave you credit for when we first met, and stronger than anyone I know." I looked up slightly embarrassed that , that all had just come spewing out of my mouth.

" Edward, seriously, stop joking. I feel pretty bad that I just let out all my frustration on you. But you didn't need to go this far to make me feel better."

I didn't know how else to prove it to her. I grabbed her and brought her face toward mine. Our lips finally met and I felt goose bumps cover my arm. I brought my hands up to cup her face and tried to make this as sensual, not sexual, as possible. I didn't want my damn guy hormones ruining this for us. Her lips were as soft as I had imagined and I honestly had never had a better kiss than this one. I hated to pull away, but I had to know what she was just looked at me. I was on pins and needles, and I couldn't gauge her reaction.

**" **Uh, Bella, you're killing me here. Give a guy a break and tell me what you're thinking."

" Are you sure about this? I mean, I care for you too, but I can't handle this right now if your not serious. You know I'm not exactly one hundred percent?"

" I'm sure. I knew the moment I saw you walk up those stairs with another guy. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I know I was jealous. That was the only reason I went looking for you. Turns out, jealously is good for something."

" Come here" She motioned me with her finger. " I want to do this right, this time I want to be ready."

I leaned in again and took her mouth into mine. I couldn't believe it, but I got goose bumps again. I put my hands back up to her face and into her hair. He hands followed suit and reached up into my hair. It felt so good I lost concentration and let a moan slip out. I felt her mouth smile, as she fisted my hair into her hands. It was as if we had done this million times over. We slipped into a rhythm and didn't let up.

"AHHHHHH!"

Alice.

" I knew you couldn't hold out forever."

" Seriously Alice, you are a buzz kill" I looked down at Bella and saw she was a cute shade of red.

" Oh, you needed to breath anyway. See Bella I told you he wasn't such a bad guy." She looked at me and winked. Damn pixie.

" Yeah, you did. Pretty good kisser too."

" Bella, come on. I am his sister."

" Yeah, well you ruined a good moment" Bella smirked up at me. She was getting braver everyday.

" Ohhh, we can double date now. Jasper and I are going to go out Friday, come."

"Alice, let's slow down a bit. This was kind of a recent development. Let us soak it in for awhile." I told her. I could see it in her eyes, she was already planning our wedding.

" Sorry, the rest of us have been waiting for quite awhile for you two to stop tiptoeing around the issue."

" The rest of you?" Bella looked scared.

" Well, yeah, just because you guys didn't see it doesn't mean the rest of us didn't" Alice just shrugged like it was no big deal.

" Bella would you like to go off campus for lunch today?" I asked. We needed to get away. Somewhere we could talk with out being interrupted.

" Yes please."

I took her hand and we headed off to the parking lot. When we got further away from Alice, Bella gripped my hand tighter. My heart swelled. Bella was mine now, and no one was going to hurt her again.

**A/N Hey all. Hope I still have your interest. Your reviews are awesome and really make it worth while to keep writing so keep em coming.**

**FYI, I have to go back to work in a week and so I might not be able to update as frequently. I hope I can, but don't be surprised if it takes a few days. I'll try not to make it too long though, there's nothing worse than waiting for an update. Like I've said before, the more reviews the more motivated I get!**


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**BPOV**

We went to a small diner Edward had found while driving around one day, and I have to say it was quite nice. Our own little private retreat. No one around to bother us, or stare at me and whisper. Just us.

"So, Alice tells me your adopted. What's with that??" I'd wanted to know this since Alice mentioned it, but felt I was being nosy.

"Wow, you're just going to jump right in, aren't you?"

" Well I've been wondering for awhile and now it just seems like something I should know. You don't have to tell me." I gave him my best Alice pout.

" Ok, but you need to work on that, Alice is waaay better. Anyway, my mom had me when she was really young. She tried to take care of me but it got to be too much after a year. Then I got bounced around from foster home to foster home until Carlisle and Esme adopted me. I couldn't ask for better parents, or family for that matter."

" Do you ever wonder, you know, about your parents?"

" Sometimes. I don't remember my mom and my father isn't listed on the birth certificate, or so I've been told. Maybe one day I'll try to find them, but for now I'm content. So Miss Twenty Questions, what about you? What made you go to school on the other side of the country?"

" I've spent my whole life in a teeny, tiny town. Everybody knows everybody so to speak. I wanted to see more, experience more than what that town could offer. Of course I didn't know what I was getting myself into." The table went silent. We were both thinking the same thing, but didn't want to mention it. I was staring down at my food when I felt his hand reach over and grab mine. I looked up and just smiled at him. How could he put me at ease so easily? " So what's it like growing up with Alice and Emmett?"

" You pretty much get what you see with Emmett. A perpetual three year old with muscles. He'd do anything for you though if you'd ask, heart of gold. Alice is the same way. Family is alot to them, to us. I don't have to tell you Alice has a knack for fashion or that she likes playing dress up. But imagine being the only girl in the house and no one to play dress up with. Emmett and I unfortunately had to step in alot. If not she'd just pout around the house. Hence how she perfected it." We both laughed. I could imagine a tiny little Alice stomping around their house begging to dress them up in the latest fashion. " You have any brothers or sisters?"

" Nope just me. My parents separated when I was still pretty little. My dad has never remarried and my mom just recently did." I'd always hated being an only child. Things get pretty lonely when you have no one to play with.

" Ok, how about some basic questions, what's your favorite TV show?

" Ohh that's a toughy, I have so many. I like crime drama's like The Closer, Forensic Files, and I really like Nip/Tuck. Friends is probably my all time favorite show though. What about you?"

" Um, Family Guy, Simpson's, that kind of stuff. You know Carlisle is a doctor, people say he's the Christian Troy of our hospital back home."

" You're dad is a man whore?" Edward about spit his drink across the table.

" Oh god no! He only has eyes for Esme. Look wise, Carlisle is very handsome, woman tend to throw themselves at him. "

" Oh. What about music? You've seen mine, now show me yours." He raised an eyebrow at me and I smiled.

" You'd be amazed how similar our music taste are. There wasn't much on your Ipod that I don't have on my own. I was quite amazed you'd even heard of HIM, most people haven't. And they certainly don't have the variety of songs by them as you do."

" I think I own every CD they've ever come out with. Including one when they had to temporarily change their name to HER. That one is a keeper."

" Like you?" I could feel my face turn red with embarrassment. These things didn't happen in real life, just in movies. " You ready to get out of here?"

" Yeah"

We left then and headed back to campus. We asked each other more questions, learning all we could about each other like we were never going to see each other again. On some level it felt like we'd known each other for decades, but on another I reveled in the newness of it all. I could talk to him all day everyday for the rest of my life and it would never get old. This all felt so strange considering a few hours ago I was begging him to hate me.

We got to his room and opened the door and was relieved when Emmett wasn't in there. We had avoided my room to avoid Alice. She would want to know every detail as to what went on while we were away.

I walked in and looked around and was amazed how much bigger this room was then ours. Just then I felt Edwards hands wrap around my waist from behind and I shivered from the contact. He then moved one arm up and moved my hair away from my neck and slowly started to kiss me up and down my neck. My knees felt weak with how good it felt.

When I couldn't take it anymore I turned around to face him. It didn't take long for his lips to go from my neck to my mouth. I couldn't believe this was real. I was standing her kissing Edward Cullen, probably the best looking guy on campus, and he was kissing me back. I took my hands and started to bring them up around his neck feeling the muscle in his arms and chest on the way up. He was built more than he appeared to be, I grinned a little and I felt him tense up. He pulled away then.

" What's wrong?" He looked worried.

" Nothing, I was just thinking to myself, how could I have gotten this lucky?"

" I'm the lucky one, don't make me keep reminding you of that." He took his hand and traced my cheek with it. I could feel myself blush, I needed to get a handle on that, or I'd be as transparent as glass every time he touched me. " I love that."

" Love what?" I hadn't even done anything.

" When you blush." Was he reading my mind? " Especially when I do this" He touched my cheek again, and like before I felt my cheeks flush, traitors.

He smiled and bent down to kiss me. When his lips met mine it was like the first time all over again. I couldn't help but bring my hands up into his hair and run my fingers through it. Just like before, Edwards moaned when I did this. Then more he moaned the more into it I got. Suddenly I felt Edward's tongue touch my bottom lip. I shivered again. His tongue reached out and did it again, but this time I welcomed him in. He tasted better than I could have imagined. I savored every minute of this. I'd done this with guys before, but it felt hormonal, this felt sensual.

Slowly Edward started to move me toward his bed. We never broke our kiss, or let our hands leave each others body. I felt the back of my knees hit his bed and his hands lower to the small of my back. Without stopping, he helped me lower on to the bed with ease. Once there I was really able to feel his body, lean abs and muscular back. I also felt the stiffness in his jeans, and after mentally smiling to myself for being the cause of that, ran my hands back up into his hair. He moaned again and I could feel him stiffen even more.

His hand then went down to my calf and slowly started to go up my leg. He made it to my thigh when I tensed. I stopped kissing him and all I could feel was that pervert's hand reaching up my dress. I wanted that image to go away, but it was burned into my memory. Next thing I know, Edward was kneeling in front of me looking like he was hit by a train.

" I'm so so sorry. How could I be such a dick?! I'm nothing but a hormonal teenage boy!"

" What? No this isn't your fault. It's going to take awhile. We're just going to have to practice." I gave him the best smile I could manage at the moment.

" This wasn't how I wanted this to go, Bella. I want what we have to be meaningful, not sex fueled. I've had that, I don't want that for us."

" You've had that? I guess I asked the wrong questions at lunch."

" None, of them would hold a candle to you." He started to kiss palm of my hand and trailed up. " You have an effect on me that no one else in my life has, ever. I want more than just infatuation, lust. I want to know you and feel what you feel"

" You are too hard on yourself. Thing like this are going to happen. The only way it's going to get better is working on it together. There was nothing hormonal about what we were doing. It all felt too good to be anything but right. You're not him, he's the bad guy, you're the hero." I could see he wasn't buying it. I didn't like him beating himself up for something he couldn't help.

" How come I feel like the bad guy?"

" Well if that's how you feel, I'll have to punish you." I brought him closer and kissed him slow and soft. I could feel the tension in his shoulders started to ease up. I climbed up onto his lap and laid my head on his chest.

" You'd make any man want a life of crime if that's the punishment."I giggled and hide my head in his neck. I could feel my cheeks flush again and didn't want him to see.

Just them Emmett burst through the door with Jasper in toe.

" Holy crap! Tell me you two sorted things out between you. I can't take this crap of you hating each other when it's so obvious you don't."

" Emmett, I know being subtle isn't one of your strong points, but please try" Edward ask while pinching his nose with his thumb and index finger.

" He's right" Jasper spoke up " You two have been driving us all nuts. Well you've been driving Alice and Rosalie nuts, which then in turn drives us nuts because we have to hear about it. You see where were coming from?"

" Whatever, just could you be nice?"

" Yeah sure, but nice ends at midnight!!! Bwahaha" Emmett walked away from us all laughing like mad scientist. All I could do was laugh.

" I wouldn't' laugh, he means it. By tomorrow we are no longer immune to the things that go on in that mind and then out of his mouth. "

" Listen to him Bella." Jasper stated " I've never heard anyone make more sex jokes about his own sister in my life. Be prepared"

" I can handle myself. I've lived with my single dad and his single buddies coming over every weekend. There main goal was to make me blush."

" Well, I don't seem to have any problems Ms. Swan." He kissed my neck and I felt my cheeks get red. " Do I"

" There's a big difference, you attempts are welcome."

I looked Edward in the eyes and smiled. I wanted to stay here in his arms forever. I'd never felt more at home that I did at this very moment. I never knew someone could make me feel this way. He went from being the bane of my existence, to my whole life. I hoped I would never have to spend another day without him. My life wouldn't be worth living, for he was my life now.

**A/N Reviews, reviews, reviews, that's all I have to say**


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N Sorry this took so long, was torn on which direction to go. **

**A few of you have asked how it is that Bella's attacker is walking around free. Unfortunately, you have to remember that you are, innocent until proven guilty, so if this is the first offense on a relatively young offender they are most likely going to be set free on their own recognizance or bail. Bail would probably be set pretty high depending on the accused money situation, but nothing someone going to Dartmouth parent's can't afford.**

**Also, some have asked for longer chapters. I will work on that.**

**Again thanks for the reviews, and keep them coming:)**

EPOV

The next few days flew by. I wanted to know everything about Bella, and it seemed she was just as curious about me. I'd never met anyone like her, she was amazing.

We started going to that diner I had found when we wanted to be alone. Nobody else knew we went there so we could count on not being interrupted. Today was one of those days. I felt like my family and our friends were watching everything we did. I now knew how Bella felt those few days after " the incident".

That was what we were calling it now. "The incident", like if we didn't say what happened out loud, it would all just go away.

" So when are we actually going to start on our music project? And what are we going to do it on?" Bella asked me with a mouthful of her club sandwich.

" Well, what do you want to do it on? I say we discuss the fact that classical music has been pushed to the back burner for one hit wonders and teenagers dancing around half naked."

" Wow! Boooring. And don't for one second think that I don't know every guy on the planet had the hots for Britney Spears, you know, before the whole head shaving, crazy thing. Including you. I'm not stupid. That and I can name all the members of N' SYNC and the Backstreet Boys. It's a phase, a writ of passage so to speak. You need a wall full of teenage hormones before you can really progress into adulthood."

" So you say boring yet it sounds like this is something you thought of. And I was more of a Christina Aguilara guy."

" I did a paper on it in high school. Did not go over well with most of the student body. I was " grandma" for awhile. I guess the only people that listen to decent music is old people."

" Well maybe we are just two old souls in younger bodies." I looked her in the eyes only to catch her ducking down to hide the color in her cheeks.

We sat in silence for awhile. It was weird, this should make me feel uncomfortable, but it didn't. I felt oddly at ease.

Bella's phone ringing interrupted the silence.

She looked down at her phone and stuffed it in her pocket.

" You're not going to answer that?" She'd been avoiding calls all week. I was beginning to wonder what was going on.

"I'll call back later. It's no big deal." I could tell she was lying, but I wouldn't press her for now.

We left the diner and headed back to campus. We both had homework we were avoiding.

" Can I see you later tonight?" I asked. Knowing she wouldn't say no.

" Yes, but give me a few hours of actual home work time. I can't concentrate if you're in the vicinity of me. Well truth be told, I can't concentrate when you're away either but I get more done with you away."

Her phone rang again. Again she ignored it.

" Bella, if you need some privacy I can walk over there for awhile. No big deal, promise"

" No, it's not that." She looked down at the ground gathering her words. " It's the police department. They keep calling me, wanting me to come down and finish up the paperwork. It's not something I want to do right now." She looked up at me through her lashed, almost like she was embarrassed.

" I thought you had already done that. Bells, the sooner you get it out of the way the better. Then it will be all behind you and..." I was interrupted.

" What if I don't want to? What if I just want life to go on like nothing happened? Did anyone ask me what I wanted? No! You all just stepped up and did what you thought was best, and don't think I didn't appreciate it, but I don't want this."

" So you would rather let this guy walk around campus? Having to see him everyday? You can't want this. I know I don't. What will you do if next year you have a class with him, huh?" I was starting to get mad, I couldn't believe such a smart girl would be so stupid.

" What I don't want Edward, is to have to get up in front of a jury and tell them what I was wearing. What I don't want it to have to explain, that the only reason I went upstairs with him was to prove a point to some guy I barely even knew. I don't exactly come off as a saint in the situation if you haven't noticed."

" What could you possibly have to prove to him? You had just met him"

"Not him, YOU! You made me feel like I was nothing but some country hick. I was going to prove you wrong. How well do you think that will go over to a jury of my peers." I didn't know what to say. " That's what I thought. I'm going to do my homework now." She started to walk away but then turned around. " I changed my mind about tonight. I have too much homework. So just go back to your cave Batman, and wait for the next damsel in distress."

I stood there, speechless. She was right, none of us had asked her what she wanted. Just pushed her in the direction we wanted her to go.

I went up to my room. I thought about following her, but she needed space right now.

Emmett and Jasper were in there playing some video game that involved killing as many people as possible. I was never much into games, they seemed trivial.

" Dude, you look like you've been ran over by a bus. What's up?" Emmett asked never tearing his eyes away from the game.

" It's all my fault" I sat on the edge of my bed and ran my hands through my hair.

Jasper paused the game and walked over to me.

"What the fuck man, I can listen and play. It's one of my many talents. Ask Rose" He winked at both of us.

" What's your fault?" I don't know how Jasper did it but I felt calmer already.

" The reason she was attacked. It was my fault." I still couldn't wrap my head around it.

" No, you helped her. Why would you think it's your fault?"

" The only reason she went with him is to prove to me she wasn't some naive hick. If I hadn't been so mean. Or if I just kept my mouth shut...."

" It would have still happened" Jasper interrupted.

" What?" I wan confused. I'm pretty sure I explained it rather well.

" It would have still happened. Guys like him, they get what they want. He might have had to work harder, but he still would have gotten her to go upstairs. What brought this up?"

" She won't go down and finish up the paperwork. If she doesn't, they have no choice but to drop charges. This is what she wants! She says she just wants things to go back to normal."

"Ok, this is where big bro comes in to give some advise, move over Jas. Listen Edward, I took some psychology in high school. " I gave him a look of confusion. " Hey, it was an easy class and every Friday we got to take a nap in class. Well technically we meditated, but that's not the point. I did manage to learn something from this. Most rape victims can't help but fell it's their fault. Did you ask her why she didn't want to? And not in a way that made her feel like a child, but actually ask her to want an answer. Bella feels this is her fault, that she could have prevented it. Similar to how you just felt. She's embarrassed, she feels like a whore to put it bluntly."

" What he's trying to get at and I agree is she needs to be told it's not her fault. She feels guilty, for putting us and her family through this. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel?"

" Oh god. I'm sure I didn't help the situation by yelling at her just now. I got to go talk to her." I started to get up but both of them pushed me back down.

" Leave her alone for awhile. She needs to wrap her head around this as much as you do. Let her be mad, it will help her see she's mad at the wrong person."

"Come play a game with us" Emmett was already back at the TV and had unpaused it. It's safe to say Jasper had lost.

I just laid back down on my bed. I needed to think.

About what had just happened.

About how I was going to talk to Bella without pushing her away.

BPOV

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I was so mad at Edward. I was mad at myself for even letting him get to me.

" Alice!! I hate your brother"

" In Emmett's defense he doesn't have that filter in his brain to weed out the things most people don't say out loud. You'll get use to it." She said as she bounced out of the closet.

" Wrong brother"

" Edward? I thought you guys were all in lurve and can't get enough of each other?"

" Yeah, well that ship has sailed. He is so uhhhhhh! I can't even think, that is how frustrated he has me"

" You know there's this saying ' there's a thin line between love and hate'. You can't get this mad at someone unless there is some passion behind it. Now what did he do?"

" I have been avoiding the calls from the police department and while I was out with him today they called twice. I'm just not ready to talk to them yet, you understand right?

" Honestly Bella I thought you had already handled all of this, you shouldn't wait. The longer you wait..."

" Stop, you sound just like him!" I threw my hands in my hair and started to pace the room.

" Ok, I'm listening, sorry."

" He just wouldn't let it go. He talked to me like I was three. Like I don't know what I'm doing."

" What are you doing?"

" What?" Her question caught me off guard.

" What are you doing Bella? Who are you really mad at? You are my best friend, I hope you know that. But this is my brother and I love him and I know he is just trying to help you. Put yourself in his shoes. If you just let this slide and that prick just goes on with his life, what do you think that would do to him, what it would do to you. Do you really think he could control himself if he saw him around campus, or worse have a class with him. I think you need to take a step back and think about who you're really mad at. It's not my brother."

With that she walked away. My mouth was on the floor. Was everyone against me today. I felt like they all forgot who this had happened to. It was my choice.

I tried to get some homework done, but it was impossible. Alice had my mind going a million miles an hour.

Who else would I be mad at? Nobody else talked down to me like he did.

Alice spent the rest of the evening dancing around the room and rearranging it, again. She wouldn't look at me and I felt awful for this. I should have gone to Rosalie with this. I wasn't as close to her, but she could have given me her impartial opinion.

" Alice?" She looked at me surprised. " I'm sorry. I shouldn't' have come to you with this. He's your brother and I put you in a tough spot."

" Bella, it has nothing to do with him being my brother. If he had done something to warrant your rant then I would have stood behind you one hundred percent. But sweety, he just cares about you. Can I tell you something?" I nodded. " Edward has had alot of relationships, he's a good looking guy with a family with money. Who wouldn't be interested. But it felt like he was always just going through the motions, like we wanted it for him so bad he put on a show for us to make us feel happy. His heart was never in the relationship. But with you, his eyes light up with just the mention of your name. I've never seen him so happy and it's because of you. I just wanted you to know that. Everything he does, it's out of love, nothing else."

I felt like the biggest bitch.

Just then somebody tapped at the door.

" I'll get it" With that Alice skipped over to the door. Did this girl do anything with out a hop in her step?

She shut the door, turned back around and looked at me with tears in her eyes. Of course I was no better.

" I'm going to go see Jasper for awhile, k? There is someone here to see you when you're ready" She wiped her cheeks dry and I did the same.

" Let him in when you leave" she just nodded and headed for the door.

I took a deep breath.

I didn't know what I was going to say. Sorry just didn't seem to cut it.

I heard him walk him but couldn't pull my face away from the floor.

Then I felt his arms wrap around me and I couldn't hold back any longer. I cried. I cried like I'd never cried before. I cried for what I said to him. For what he said to me. For everything we didn't say but should have.

" I'm sorry" He muttered.

" No" I shook my head into his chest. " I'm sorry. You were just trying to help and I completely overreacted."

" Don't be silly, I should have been more sensitive toward you. I had no idea you felt that way"

I started to laugh and Edward pulled me away from him and just looked at me.

" We're getting no where with this. We're both sorry, how's that"

" It's a start" He smiled and kissed the top of my head. " Can I ask you a question without you getting mad"

" I promise to stay open minded."

" You are so brave and confident around me" He stopped and looked up at me with sadness in his eyes. " Why can't you just be that brave and put this guy away?"

I inhaled and thought about it for a moment.

" I'm not as brave as you think I am. I have my moments when I get a burst of confidence, but it's not me. At the end of the day I take my confidence back to the store and get my deposit back. I can't afford to buy it permanently."

" What if we found a size that fit you better? Would you consider it?"

" I might, but I'm not making an promises. "

" I'll help you" He leaned in and hugged me again. I felt better already.

" Can I ask you another question?"

" Sure" I waited for the worst.

" Why Batman?"

" What?"

" You called me Batman and told me to go back to my cave."

I laughed.

" Because he's real"

" I hate tell you love, but he's a comic book super hero."

" I know that" I pushed him away and punched him in the arm. " What I meant was that he not fake."

" Oh now I get it" and rolled his eyes

" Shut up, let me finish. Superman was from a different planet and Spiderman was bitten by a radioactive spider for example. Batman is just an ordinary guy with cool toys. He's my super hero of choice"

" Oh" He thought about that for a moment. " And you called me Batman so that must mean..."

" I choose you. You're my superhero"

He leaned down and kissed me then and I felt like I was in heaven.

How had a gotten this lucky?

He then leaned over and whispered in my ear.

" It's not your fault"

**A/N I tried to make this a little longer than I normally do, hope you like it.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N Sorry this took so long, I am finally back to work and wanted to spend my last few days with my little girl.**

**Thanks to you all that are still reading, it really means a lot to me, and your reviews mean even more.**

**EPOV**

I couldn't tell if she had heard me or not, but I decided to let it go for the time. If I had pushed her she might break down again, and we were both to emotionally drained for that.

Instead I toyed with the idea of taking her out on an actual date. I was something I'd wanted to do, but the timing just never seemed right. We weren't going about this the conventional way, and I felt as though I might jinx things by trying to start now. I knew she deserved it though, to be taken out, like a lady.

I was nervous, almost embarrassed to ask. I don't know why. I'd seen her at her worst, yet I couldn't' ask her to fucking dinner? There was something seriously wrong with me.

So I just to decided to go for it. What's the worst that can happen? She says no and crushes my heart into a million pieces? Or worse laugh at me, and make me feel like pond scum?

"Bella? Do you wanna maybe actually go out on a date? Make this official, whatever it is?"

She looked at me with her big brown eyes and started to laugh.

Damn

I wanted to run and hide somewhere for the remainder of my life. I always knew I had stronger feeling for her than she had for me, but really did she have to laugh like that.

"Seriously?" She asked while still laughing.

"Well, I was but never mind. It was a stupid idea." I was stuttering over my own words. I felt like I had just asked the prettiest girl to the prom and she turned me down in front of the whole school.

But I wasn't in high school, and this wasn't the prom, or the prettiest girl in school. This was Bella, she was more.

"No it's not stupid," She cuddled into my shoulder. "I just didn't figure you for the date kind of guy."

"What kind of guy did you figure me for?" I was slightly offended. Although I couldn't' remember the last girl I went on a date with. I couldn't' even remember the name of the last girl I slept with. God, you're a fucking douche Cullen. This is what kind of guy she thinks you are.

"I don't know the kind that just sorta has his way with girls and then is done with them. I don't mean it in a bad way. You can just sort of be an ignorant ass that thinks you're too cool to be seen with a girl." She giggled again. I felt like she was jabbing me over and over in the heart with a blunt object.

"Bella, it's not that way with you. You know that right?" I was tittering on the edge of pissed off and shameful.

I had never really thought about it, but I was that guy. I'd gone out with my share of girls, but never actually went out. I don't think any of them even saw the inside of my parent's house. I'd see them in school, but still keep a distance. Wanted to maintain a sense of dignity. I wasn't any better than them; I just felt I should appear that way.

With Bella I wanted to stand on top of the highest building on campus with a banner that reads:

Bella Swan Property of Edward Cullen

If you touch her I would rip your fucking balls off and feed them to you

"Sure, I just didn't think it was something you would ever ask. I've never really been out on a date before. Maybe I can ask Alice to take me shopping. She has been dying for an excuse to update my wardrobe."

"She would really like that. You and Rose are really special to her, did you know that? She's never had friends like you."

Alice had never had many girlfriends. The ones she did have couldn't keep up with her. One day she would call to plan something and they would just stop answering her calls. It hurt me to see her sit around the house by herself.

"We are talking about the same Alice right? Perky, happy twenty four seven, Pixie on crack, that Alice. I can't imagine people not wanting to be around her."

"You would be surprised. She's had it pretty rough. You guys mean a lot to her." I looked Bella in the eyes and could see question she wanted to ask behind them. In stead she bit her bottom lip and kept them for another day.

I brushed a strand of hair away from Bella's face and tucked it behind her ear. Sometimes she looked so innocent I felt bad that she had any feelings at all for me. I knew what I was capable of; I knew I could fuck this up just as badly as I had everything else in my life. I tried to get those thoughts out of my mind, so I cupped her face in my hands and brought her up to mine. She went back to biting her bottom lip.

"Stop that"

"Stop what?"

"Stop biting your lip like that. Those lips are important to me. I don't know what I'd do without them"

With that I bent down and took her bottom lip in to my mouth. Even with all the biting she constantly put it through, it was soft and supple. To my surprise I could feel Bella's tongue creep out and sweep across my top lip. I'd underestimated her. Maybe she wasn't as innocent as she appeared to be. I decided to test the water a little and bit down slightly on her lip. A small moan slipped out of her lips.

She fucking moaned.

It took all my effort not to throw her down on her bed and have my way with her. Instead I did the next best thing, I stopped. I knew that if we kept going things would happen that I would regret. I wasn't going to be that arrogant ass anymore.

"I think we should stop, Bella?" I asked but it came out as more of a question. God help me if she didn't want to.

"Really, because by looking at your pants," Her eyes dipped down to look at my dick, which had betrayed me and was standing tall. "I think you don't think that at all."

I opened my mouth but nothing came out, so I shut it again. I had no idea what to tell her.

"See I told you."

She stepped closer and pressed her warm body up against mine brushing her fingers up my arm until they reached my face. Then she brought her thumb over to my mouth and began to move it across my lower lip. It felt like my dick might actually grow hands and unzip my pants for me. Without thinking I opened my mouth and took her thumb into it. She tasted so fucking good. I couldn't place the taste, but I knew that if I could bottle that shit up and make an edible lotion into that, I'd make a fucking fortune. Just Bella, I would call it. Then every girl could smell and taste like her and it would drive their guy's nuts.

On second though, I didn't want to share. Someone might want the real thing and come and take her right out from under me. No, that was no good. I was going to be a greedy little bastard and keep her and her edible body to myself.

"God Bella, it's unbelievable what you can do to me with just one finger."

She laughed and pulled her hand away.

"Wouldn't you like to see what I can do with all ten?" She smiled and batted her eyes.

Unfortunately and luckily a tap on the door interrupted us.

"You guys all made up?" Cockblock Alice.

"Come in Alice." Bella smirked in my direction and she skipped over to her bed.

This girl might actually me the death of me.

Alice walked in with Jasper clinging to her waist. These two were acting as if they've been dating forever rather that just a few weeks. IT gave me hope that people really could fall in love that fast.

"Hey there little sis, you sure know how to ruin a good time"

She just snorted and headed over to Bella's bed and flopped down with her. They began whispering and it was bugging the crap out of me. As happy I was that Alice finally had a good friend, I did not want them plotting against me.

"What's with them?" I asked Jasper.

"I don't know Alice and Rose were doing the same thing up in your room. I have to say I'm kinda scared. I don't know what that little pixie is capable of, but I'm sure we all are about to find out."

"I do know what she's capable of and you should be scared. Nothing good ever comes from giggle and whispers."

"Shut up you two!" Alice yelled, "We are making plans for Halloween, be patient we are almost done discussing."

All I could do was roll my eyes. I dreaded Halloweens around our house. Alice loved to have any excuse to throw a party, but her particular favorite holiday had always been Halloween. I thanked my lucky stars it wasn't just Emmett and I getting dragged into it this year.

Jasper and I sat there for what seemed like and eternity. Chit chatting about our classes. What teachers we hated which ones we liked. When finally the girls emerged from their private conversation and faced us.

"Ok, well as Edward knows, Halloween holds a soft spot in my heart. And even though I am unable to throw a big party like at home, Bella and Rose are going to help throw a floor party for the dorms." She smiled back at Bella who in return smiled back and then gave me a sly look. They weren't finished, "Also don't worry about costumes, we've already got them picked out and I will start making them immediately."

She grabbed Jasper and headed for the door, but I was able to grab her by the elbow before she made it.

"What are the costumes?"

"Pardon" She asked with a huge smile on her face.

"You heard me, what did you girls cook up?"

"Ok, fine." She huffed as she walked back into the room and resumed her spot next to Bella. "Rose is going to be Goldie Locks, and Emmett is going to be the Bear." She eyed us and we nodded out heads, it made sense, they did resemble the fairy tale " Jas, you are going to be Peter Pan and I will be Tinkerbell. And finally Edward, you will be Romeo and Bella will be Juliet."

We just stared at them.

Finally I broke the silence.

"Let me get this straight. Emmet gets to be a bear and Jas and I have to wear tights. No, I'm not cool with that." I was shaking my head but they just giggled.

"You'll be fine. Man up! Jasper you'll do it won't you?" She looked over at him and batted her eyes. He was screwed.

"Jas, come on, grow some." I pleaded with him. He just shrugged his shoulders and spun Alice toward him.

"Ok, can't we do something more like, Little Red Riding Hood and The Wolf?"

"Ew, why would you want to be a dog? they stink. Besides we were going more towards something literary, Bella's a book worm" I glanced over at Bella and her cheeks flushed.

"Ok, well then what About Jay and Daisy?" I was much happier to be dressed up in something from the jazz era than in tights. Good god now I had the damn song from "Robin Hood Men in Tights" stuck in my head.

"Oh The Great Gatsby, that is perfect. Bella I can whip you up a flapper dress in no time. Ok, now I have Edward and Emmett's measurements, but you sir, "Alice eyes Jasper, "I don't. Let's go up to your room, taking your measurements can take awhile and could be quite exhausting." Jasper's eyes were the size of dinner plates.

"Dude, just go before I have to kick you ass. I don't' like to even think what she is insinuating."

Alice took his hand and skipped toward the door. I would never understand her. She never ran out of energy. I'm glad Jasper could keep up with her.

After the door shut Bella made her way over to my side.

"Sorry, Alice said I didn't' have a choice. I was dressing up or she would drug me and force me into a costumes. I just picked the first thing I could think of. Nice save though." She leaned up on her tip toes and kissed me softly on the lips.

"You're forgiven, if you keep doing that."

"Ah, nice one Cullen, but no can do. I still have homework to do. Now get out!"

"You've had all afternoon and you haven't finished it yet?" I was a little more than disappointed. I had really planned on spending the rest of the night with her.

"Sorry, but an awful cute guy pissed me off this afternoon. I wasn't able to concentrate."

"Mmm, lucky guy." I mumbled as I leaned toward her lips again.

"Luckier girl" Bella whispered and our lips met.

I honestly didn't think that I would ever get sick of this.

**A/N Again I apologize that this took so long. You would think that after being gone for 2 months that someone would have done my job while I was away, but no. I will try to be faster. **

**Keep the reviews coming, I wish everyone that was reading this would send reviews, they make me happier than imagining Edward in tights, he he.**


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**BPOV**

Edward decided that the sooner we got this date thing over with, the better. I had to agree with him on that so we made it for the next coming weekend. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I'd never really been on a date before. I mean I'd gone out with friends and boys came along, but I'd know all of them since we were running around in diapers. That doesn't count as a date.

Alice was wonderful. She helped me pick out the best outfit. A beautiful gray knee length dress, matching flats and a new jacket of sorts. Of course I should have never doubted her. The shopping experience on the other hand was quite horrific. I'd never seen somebody whip through the stores like she did. Where ever we went there was only the reminisce of the Alice tornado that had hit moments before. I felt the tiniest piece of guilt for whoever had to pick up our mess in the dressing rooms we visited. Rose tagged along, but she seemed pretty indifferent about the whole. I don't think she could understand I was truly a lost cause when it came to fashion.

Edward had been doing a pretty good job of hiding where he was taking me. Alice told me not to worry, that she was certain I would love where we were going. Normally I would have laughed it off, but damn if Alice wasn't right most the time about things. Kind of freaky if you ask me.

So here I was, sitting on the edge of my bed, mostly because I already got yelled at by Alice for trying to lie down on my bed, waiting for my "date" to arrive. I was fiddling with my hands nervously, wanting desperately to bring them to my mouth and chew on my nails, but yet again the wrath of Alice reared its ugly head and told me not to ruin her paint job. I honestly didn't understand why we had to got o such extremes, it was just Edward. He'd pretty much seen me at my lowest, and manages to still have some feelings for me. That was a lot in my book.

There was a knock on the door that somewhat brought me out of my dazed stupor.

"It's show time" Alice rang as she bounced into the room. "Are you ready?"

"No" I spat out.

"Good, now smile pretty. I didn't go through all this work for you to ruin it by frowning"

I plastered on the phoniest smile I could muster up. I honestly felt like as if I could vomit. This was crazy; it's Edward and Bella, him and me. Nobody else. It would be just like all those times we hung out at the diner.

Alice opened the door and my mouth went from a fake smile to that of utter awe. Edward looked amazing, even though Alice spent all day making me up I suddenly felt like I was underdressed. He was in a nice pair of dark denim jeans, and a stunningly green sweater that seem to just make his eyes pop out. His hair was in its usual state of disarray and as always he had on a pair of worn out Nikes. It wasn't that he was dressed up all that much, just that he looked so damn good. He made it look easy, while I on the other hand felt out of place. This wasn't normal for me, far from it.

"You look beautiful" I heard a voice say.

"What?"

"Don't be rude Bella, say thank you" Alice glared at me from the other side of the door.

"Um, yeah, thanks, you look pretty good yourself"

"Bella, stop ogling Edward, it's really starting to creep me out" I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. I hadn't realized I was still staring.

"Yeah, well, now you know how I feel when Jasper is eye fucking you."

"Edward!" Alice screeched. "Ok, that's enough, out! Both of you. You kids have a good time"

With that she ushered us out into the hallway and slammed the door. I heard the lock click and all my fears came rushing back.

"I look that good huh?" Edward was looking at me and again my cheeks betrayed me and I could feel the heat starting to pool in them.

"Um, well, yeah, but you always do." I stammered. He just laughed and grabbed my hand.

"Well you look down right amazing." He whispered into my ear. I got chills all over my body just from his closeness.

"You can thank Alice. She picked out the clothes and did my hair…."

"I'm not talking about your clothes, or hair, or makeup. I'm talking about you. You Isabella Swan look beautiful."

As if to break up the awkwardness my stomach growled. It was entirely my fault, I was so nervous all day that I hadn't been able to sit down and eat.

"Come on let's go get you fed." He chuckled.

The ride there was pretty silent. Of course I never felt the need to fill the silence with Edward. I was comfortable with it. I could never understand that growing up, how two people could sit and just enjoy each others company. To me it meant they didn't have enough in common, that they were bored with each other. Now I see that it's just a form of intimacy almost. To just be able to be.

We pulled up in front of an Italian restaurant called Bella Noche. I asked Edward what it meant. He just shrugged his shoulders and said it must be something good with the word Bella in it.

I ordered mushroom ravioli and Edward got a steak the size of a small cow. Sometimes we talked; sometimes we just sat and looked at each other. Another one of those things I always thought was weird. Somehow it felt right, just to look into his eyes and not have to say anything, or feel the need to avert my eyes.

It was in one of those moments that we got interrupted by some giggling.

"Edward? Is that you? Oh my god Jess it is"

Two girls were walking toward our table. One blonde, slightly tall and slender. The other a brown hair, shorter girl, more like my size. I didn't recognize them, but Edward obviously did, and rolled his eyes at me. I could help but laugh a little.

"Hi, Jessica, Lauren. Nice to see you again. This is Bella, my date for this lovely evening."

"Are you visiting Emmett?" The blonde one asked, completely ignoring me.

"No, actually I'm going to school here as well." Edward turned toward me and explained how he knew them. "I met these two ladies last year while visiting Emmett. They are locals and happen to be attending the same frat party as we were."

"So, what have you been up to" this time the brown haired one asked, I believe that one was Jessica. She did the same as the blonde, acted as if I wasn't there. I felt slightly uncomfortable and after awhile excused myself to go the ladies room.

Up until that point, my nerves had finally subsided. I was now back to a full on nervous breakdown. How could I compete with those girls? They were gorgeous and out going. I bet they didn't need help getting dressed up.

Just as I was getting my nerves back together the door opened and I froze as I heard two familiar giggles. I decided my best course of action was to just stay in my stall. I was afraid if I walked out there I would panic again and never be able to pull my self out of it.

"I don't know what he sees in her. She so, plain. You can tell she so got herself all prettied up for this and she still looks worse than us on a bad day" it sounded like it was the blonde Lauren.

"Oh I know right. That's ok he'll drop her soon. I don't doubt that. And we'll just be waiting right outside that door when it open" I knew that was Jessica, nobody else had such a whiney voice.

I felt like I wanted to crawl into a little ball and just disappear. Every one of my fears of not being good enough was coming to light. It was one thing to think them to myself but to hear almost the same criticism come out of someone else's mouth was agonizing.

At that moment I knew I was staying put until they left. I could not walk out and face them, it was just too much.

Just as I thought that I heard a noise behind me that nearly made me jump out of my skin. I turned around and groaned to myself. Self flushing toilets. Whoever had invented them, I was going to find and poke their eyes out with a spoon. I had not choice now. I had to face them. They knew somebody was in here and they might get suspicious if nobody came out. I took one final deep breath and started out to greet my fear.

I could see their reflection in the mirror when I walked out and they didn't look surprised at all, in fact they were smirking.

"Eavesdrop much?" Lauren spat

I took a deep breath and just tried to talk as evenly as I could.

"You knew very well I was in here. And I do believe was here first." I kept my head down and finished washing up my hands. Finally I looked them both in the eye and said with the most confidence I could gather. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go join my date."

I went to walk away and an arm shot out in from of me, blocking me from moving.

"What are you gonna do if he touches you, huh?" If looks could kill Lauren would have killed me ten times over.

"Yeah, you got the police on fucking speed dial or something?" Jessica remarked.

My eyes widen when I realized what they were insinuating. My worst fears come to life. I didn't know what to do, or what to say. So I didn't say anything and just pushed past her arm and ran out hearing their giggles and the door shut.

I wanted to leave, just escape from this whole situation, but I had nowhere to go. Edward was right there as I exited the bathroom, so there was no way I could run out without him noticing. That and it was quite a walk back to campus, and Alice no where near dressed me warm enough for a walk home. I sucked it up and went back to our table and just kept my head down, staring at my food.

"You all right?" Edward asked

"Fine" I knew I was being cold, but couldn't help it. Everything I'd been thinking all day was just thrown right in my face.

He reached out and grabbed a hold of my hand and for a few moments I felt that hope come back into my body. That quickly diminished when Jessica and Lauren walked by again bumping right in to my elbow and sending my drink toppling over in to my lap. I pulled my hand away and just gasp as the cold liquid hit my flesh.

"Bye Edward" Jessica said coyly.

"Hope to see you soon." Lauren purred at him.

They were out of my sight before I could even react to what they had obviously done on purpose.

"Bella, are you ok. Here let me help you clean up."

"No! Let's just leave. I just want to go home." I was desperately trying to fight back tears. I didn't want to breakdown in front of him again.

With that Edward paid for our meal and we headed out to his car. He looked slightly annoyed and I knew it was because of me. I'd ruined our date because I was too weak to stand up for myself. I hate myself for it.

Most of the ride was silent, but unlike on the way there this was an awkward silence. After awhile I picked up his Ipod and started fiddling around with it to find a song. I must have taken to long because the silence was finally broken by Edward's harsh voice.

"Just pick a fucking song already"

I jumped at the tone in voice and again had to fight off tears that were threatening to fall. I just picked the next song that appeared on his screen. The Moxy, Step Down, seemed fitting, I chucked a little.

"What's so funny?" He asked still some anger in his voice.

"Nothing you would understand" I stated, still cold and with no emotion attached what so ever.

"Whatever" And he went on to mumble something about worse date ever, and it being fucked up.

When we got back to campus we didn't even bother walking together. In fact after awhile I noticed he wasn't following behind anymore. And after what seemed like an eternity I finally made it back to my room.

I walked in and closed the door behind me and just slid down it, I could feel the emotions spiraling down with me. This could have been quite possibly the worst day ever. My thoughts were interrupted by the one person I could just not handle right now.

"You're home early. I didn't expect you back for at least another couple of hours" Alice chirped. She looked up from the magazine she had in here hand, some French one I couldn't even pronounce, and concern immediately covered her face.

"Complications arouse." I stated flatly

"Tell me everything. I'm not afraid of him, I will kick his ass." She said sternly and I had to smile a little. She sounded so motherly.

"It wasn't him Alice. It's me. We don't' fit. That became shockingly clear tonight."

"What are you talking about?"

I went on to explain to her what had happened at the restaurant with Lauren and Jessica. She listened to the whole story without interrupting once. A look of utter frustration was on her face and I didn't know if she was going to scold me for ruining the outfit or hug me for what I had to go through.

Without a single word she pulled out her phone and started thumbing through her contacts.

"Alice, what…." She held up her finger and I stopped mid sentence.

"Rose, can you come down here? I need your help."

"Really Alice I'm ok, just…" Again I was met with a finger to silence me as she dialed some other number.

"Lauren!" My face froze. What did she think she was doing? "This is Alice, remember me? Good hey I was just wondering if you could come down to the dorms and tell me where all the good shopping places are? And bring Jess." Alice gave her direction to get to our room and hung up. Before I could even open my mouth the door knocked and Rose walked in.

"What's the matter Alice, you sounded pissed? Do I need to take Jasper out, because I will?" I had no doubts that Rosalie would do exactly as she said. She wasn't the kind not to follow through on a threat.

"No, Bella here had a little run in with Edward's fan club. And we need to have a little pow wow and show them what's what around here."

"Alice really it's ok. Don't go to all this trouble because of me."

"I'm not" She smiled coyly. "I've hated those bitches since the first time they came around hanging all over Edward's junk like it was candy. They've got this coming and you just gave me the excuse to do it."

"Stop!" Rosalie demanded. "What are you talking about?"

Alice told her the story and Rose didn't handle it very well. I have to admit I always thought Rose just put up with me because I was friends with Alice, but it was clear now that she cared for me as well.

"Oh hell no. When will those bitches be here?"

"Soon" was all Alice would say.

We sat there in silence. I'd had so much silence today I thought maybe I was having a hearing problem, but when the knock came at the door I knew I was wrong. Alice and Rosalie just smiled at each other. Alice got up to answer the door and I immediately wanted to flee to the bathroom to escape.

When she opened the door I could see she purposely stood to the side so they would see me first. I just looked down at my hands hoping that they wouldn't see me.

"Alice!" Jessica screamed, but took one look into the room and sneered at me. "Look Lauren, it's Edward's "date"" she said it with sarcasm I flinched back like her words might bite me.

It wasn't two seconds and Alice and Rosalie were up in their faces, fighting my battle. I again felt like the weak part of the equation. Like I had to have other people fight my battles.

I didn't hear a lot of what was being said, as most of it was just screaming over each other, but Alice and Rose were defending me. I felt somewhat happy that I had friends that would do this for me. But still felt like I was losing this battle of tug of war with myself. The one that involved my overwhelming fear of being emotionally stunted from what happened, and the other side which told me to man up and stand tall. I knew which one was winning and it made me want to fade into the back round and disappear.

Quite some time had gone by when I heard Emmett's booming voice go over all those that had crowded around their little fight in the hall. I could tell he was torn between trying to get his little sister out of there and cheering on Rose for being such a "badass" as he put it.

I was still sitting on my bed when I heard a familiar voice come at me.

"What the hell is going on out there?"

I looked up and saw Edward standing in the doorway, looking somewhat between pissed off and concerned.

"Just the norm in my life. You know someone else fighting my fights" I snapped.

"Jesus Bella, don't you think you slightly overreacted? I just talked to them, I don't even like them." He pulled his hand through his hair and was back to just looking pissed off. "Do you go to the emergency room for a paper cut, too?" He spat.

I'd be lying if I didn't say it didn't hurt. He thought I was merely jealous? Even when we disliked each other his tone was never so angry. I did the only thing I knew to do; I lashed back out at him.

"Don't, don't try and tell me I've over reacted. You know nothing. You have no idea. We live in two different worlds Edward, and that became very clear today."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"See the fact that you don't even see that is proof enough. It's the simple class system. Something you know nothing about because you've always been at the top of that food chain. I'm pretty damn close to the bottom. I'm surprised you can even see me from where you're perched." I realized I was yelling and stopped and tried to gain some composure. "I should have never tried to compete in your world. I knew I'd get eaten alive. I thought you would be worth it, and you probably are, but I can't do this. I'm not strong enough; I'll just bring you down with me.

He took a step toward me and I automatically took two steps back. I could see the hurt in his eyes. He just sighed and brought his hand up into his hair again. I felt like hours before he spoke again.

"I would think you would know me better than that, love"

"Please don't." I pleaded. "Just go, there are girls out there that would just love to get your attention" I couldn't help the bitter sarcasm that spouted out of my mouth. "And Edward, don't worry I won't pester you. It'll be like I don't exist." With that I turned on my heel and walked in to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

For awhile there was knocking and I could hear muffled sounds coming from the other side. Then light tapping, as Alice came back in and tried to lure me out. Followed by Rosalie pounding on the door demanding I get my ass out of the bathroom. After awhile it all sounded the same, and eventually I fell asleep on the floor.

**A/N**

**It took longer that I wanted for this to come to life in my head, but I'm pretty happy with the results. I put Edward and Bella's outfits on my profile as well as a link to The Moxy song.**

**Like always review, review, review!**

**Question of the chapter (I've seen other Fan Fic writers do this, so I'm gonna test it out)**

**What's your favorite restaurant and what do you like there?**


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

**A/N Well my attempt to get more reviews by asking questions failed horribly :( To all of you that continue to send me reviews, thank you, thank you, you make me smile and want to keep continuing this story even when I feel like it's crap and I'm wasting my time, so keep them coming.**

EPOV

I don't know where I went wrong.

I spent hours looking online for the perfect restaurant, even more putting together a playlist on my Ipod for the ride there and back. And even though I rarely cared what I wore I enlisted Alice's help to pick out something that would look good. Of course she frowned when I refused to wear any other shoes but my Nikes, but other than that I thought she made me look damn handsome, if I do say so myself.

Bella look magnificent. I mean, Alice did a pretty good job of making her up and all, but that wasn't it. I couldn't' put my finger on it, but when I went to pick her up and she looked up at me from her bed with those big brown eyes, I knew I was a goner. She was perfect. If Alice hadn't been there I don't' know if we would have left. It didn't' hurt my ego any that she was shamelessly gawking at me either.

I thought dinner was going well. We talked about everything, and nothing. She laughed more that night than I can ever remember her laughing before.

She seemed somewhat uncomfortable when some girls I knew came up and talked to me. To be honest I was just being polite to them. If Bella hadn't been there I probably would have told them to get lost. But Bella was there so I tried to remain courteous so I didn't ruin our night by being a prick.

When she came back from the bathroom though, things had changed. She was cold and unresponsive. It didn't help that her drink spilled on her lap. What really didn't help is when that happened my mind went right to imagining licking the cold liquid of her milky thighs to clean it up. I was quickly taken out of that thought as she screamed she wanted to go home. I had to stop and think if maybe I had said my dirty thoughts out loud, but I was pretty sure I hadn't.

On the drive home, in my confused state, I ended up snapping at her to choose a song. I don't know what came over me, but I didn't mean to yell. I could tell I surprised her and even maybe hurt her a little. I just wanted to shake her and ask what she wanted from me, what she needed to make this night good. But I could tell from her posture that she was retreating into herself. She was hunched over into the seat hugging herself. I would get nothing from her now. It hurt me to see her this way and I start mumbling to myself. I had fucked this up. Our one chance at a nice night out and I somehow managed to fuck it up.

When we got back to campus she nearly jumped out of the car before I had it in park. I chased after her at first and then realized that I left my phone and Ipod in my car. Two things I was not going without. I wanted to shoot myself in the foot, because by the time I went back to retrieve those things she was gone.

I paced outside her door for quite awhile before Jasper came up behind me and grabbed my shoulder.

"What the fuck man!? You scared the shit out of me." I kept my voice pretty low. I didn't want Bella to hear me.

"What are you doin? Shouldn't you be out on your date? Or have you been pacing all night out here, you did have reservations?"

"We already went to dinner"

"Ah" That one word told me Jasper knew it hadn't gone well.

"Yeah, I don't know what happened. I've been out here for awhile trying to decide if I should go in and talk to her. But I don't know what I should be talking about. I don't know where I went wrong."

"You're trying too hard. Come up and relax for a little while. We'll figure out what to do."

We sat up in Jasper's room for quite awhile. I listened to him strum on his guitar and tried desperately to think of how I was going to make this up to Bella.

I honestly was at a lost. No one made has made me feel like this ever. Even when I knew what I'd done to deserve this treatment I was never this bothered. To make Bella happy I would jump through hoops.

My thoughts were broken by a loud banging on Jasper's door. And before he could get up to answer it Emmett came bounding in.

"Dude, we got to go get our girls! Hey Eddie." He paused and gave me the goofiest wave. "Seriously there's a huge chick fight downstairs and our bitches are in the middle of it."

We both looked and each other and jumped up racing for the door.

I was a bit worried. I was hoping that in Bella's mood Alice hadn't decided to jump her about ruining her dress, she might have finally snapped and tried to take her aggression out on her. Add Rosalie into that mix and that is one hell of a fight. My money would be on Rose, but I knew that even though Alice was small she packed a hell of a punch. Quite a few guys from high school found that out when they would touch her without her permission. Bella worried me on the other hand. I didn't know if she would be strong enough to fight off Alice and Rose. I'd noticed when I wrapped my arm around her waist on the walk up to the restaurant that she had lost a significant amount of weight.

When we finally got to their floor I was a little confused as to why I saw four girls, none of which were Bella. Even more confused when the two girls that Alice and Rose had backed up against wall were Jessica and Lauren. I could only think I was being punished somehow. Having to see these two tramps twice in one day was definatly someone's twisted, sick form of punishment.

I could hardly make out what was being said. Most of it was just them all trying to yell and scream over each other. I heard something about "messing with my friend" and "stay away from my brother".

I started to look around frantically for Bella. She had to be here somewhere. It was then that I saw her door was open and inside I could see a pair of hands wringing over each other. She was hiding out in there, I was secretly happy for that. I knew I should stay and help Emmet and Jasper, but I had to see if she was okay.

I walked in, and asked what was going on a little harsher that I had intended. Here I was coming in to see if she was ok and all but bite her head off. She looked up from her hands a bit surprised but behind that I could see the fear and hurt. She mumbled something about people fighting her battles, and I all but flipped out. I could only figure she had complained to Alice that I had talked to the two slutkateers, and Alice being the good friend she was called them down here to tell them to back off. I couldn't believe this was all over a little bit of jealousy.

Next thing I knew she was up and yelling at me. She didn't come anywhere near eyelevel to me, but she stretched her body as far as it would go so that she could somewhat compete with me. I didn't hear most of what she was saying, something about a class system. I honestly was still baffled that this could be over Lauren and Jessica.

When I finally tried to walk to her, she backed up. I tried to take my frustration out on my hair; it was amazing how I wasn't bald. I tried to lower my voice and for it to come out as even and loving as possible. It didn't work; instead I think it had the opposite effect.

The next thing I knew she was telling me she wasn't going to bother me anymore. It would be like she didn't exist. I didn't understand. Before I could react she had already gone into the bathroom and locked herself in. I knocked for a long time, hoping against hope that she would let me in like last time. It was during this time that I was pressed up against the door that a small hand came up and smacked the back of my, ricocheting my head off the door for a more intense hit.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Alice yelled.

"What the fuck? I don't know if I fully deserved that."

"Really?" Rosalie asked with her hands on her hips.

"Do girls always overreact this was out of jealousy?"

Both girls looked at me and started to laugh. But it wasn't a "ha ha I just heard a funny joke" laugh it was more of a "you're fucked" laugh.

Finally Alice spoke.

"Did you even ask her what happened?"

I had to think about it. I'd asked her about the fight, but I don't recall ever asking her why she was so upset at the restaurant.

"Fuck" was all I could mutter

"Didn't think so. You know nothing. You have no idea what she went through tonight. And I wouldn't be surprised after the way you acted if you ever find out."

"You could tell me" I looked at them both sheepishly. It was Rose that spoke up this time.

"Forget it! You fucked it up, you fix it. On. Your. Own."

"United girl front, huh? This is a bunch of bullshit and you both know it." I was pissed now. "Alice, what if that was Jasper behind that door? Wouldn't you do anything for him? Rose, for Emmett?"

"We never would have let it get this far." Alice said calmly. "She was hurting and all you could do was yell at her to pick a song, and let her walk back up her alone. To her I'm sure it felt like the walk of shame, but worse because she cares about you. It wasn't just some one night stand, you know what you're use to." She really snapped out that last statement.

"It is clear you two know nothing as well." I glared between the two of them, before settling on Alice. "She is not like the other girls and you damn well know that"

With that I turned around and walked out of the room. Nothing was going to be resolved tonight. There was too much anger and misunderstanding on both parts.

On the walk back to my room I desperately tried to piece a reason together as to why she would get so upset. I could come up with nothing. She couldn't honestly believe that I would want girls like Lauren and Jessica over her, could she?

I was pacing outside my door when Jasper came up and startled me again.

"Jesus!"

"You need to stop pacing in front of door. You're going to a weird name like, Stalker or something."

"You need to stop sneaking up on people." I let out a small laugh them. "Stalker?"

"Yeah, you know because you were pacing in front of Bella's door earlier and now here. People are going to think your just stalking someone." I rolled my eyes. "Ok, how about, Guy Who Paces in Front Of Doors, that could be your Indian name. Or probably the more common name will be that creepy guy who looks pissed all the time."

"Whatever. Hey what to you think the chances of Alice telling you what wrong with Bella?"

"Pretty good, we tell each other pretty much everything."

"Call her up, I need to figure this shit out before it gets out of hand."

"Before it get out of hand? Dude, you're already there. K, I'll try her." With that he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and dialed her number. It hadn't been two seconds and he frowned and hung up.

"What?"

"Listen" he dialed again and put it on speakerphone so I could listen.

"_Hey this is Alice I can't answer my phone right now. If this is Edward, my mouth is shut. If this is Jasper or Emmett calling on behalf of Edward, forget it. If you continue to pursue this, punishment will be inflicted, and not the kind you got last time Jasper. In fact it will be the opposite. Thank you; leave a message at the beep."_

"You're on your own, sorry man."

"Whatever." I put my hands up to my face and then drug them back into my hair pulling at its ends. Jasper went to walk into my room, but I stopped him before he could. "Jas?"

"Seriously I'm not asking."

"Yeah I got that." I paused trying to think of how I was going to word this. "I don't ever want to hear of how you get punished. And I really wouldn't say anything to Emmett about it. He would personally break each and every one of your fingers."

"Don't worry; I'm sure Emmett already knows. Well knows the particulars, not that Alice does it. She learned it from Rose." After he said that he basically ran into my room.

This was seriously messed up. Both my brother and my friend were getting punished in ways that they enjoyed and I was getting punished by actually being punished.

I walked in and Jasper and Emmett were laughing. I could see Emmett had tried to call Rose and got the same message as Jasper did. These girls were serious.

"I see that you got the same message as Jasper. The exact same message." The look on Jasper's face was priceless.

"The EXACT same message." Emmett yelled when it dawned on him what I was saying. "You son of a bitch, that's my sister!" He lunged after him and they started chasing each other around the room. People below us probably thought there was a herd of elephants stampeding in our room.

"What the hell, you're getting it from my sister!" With that statement, Emmett paused and a big grin went across his face.

"You're right, and boy is she an expert."

"Can't we just call a truss and vow never to talk about it again?" Jasper held out his hand to Emmett

"Deal, come here." Emmett gave him a big bear hug. If I didn't know him so well I'd say he squeezed a little tighter than usual, for Jasper's eyes looked like they were about ready to pop out of his skull. "Now Little Bro, you need to figure this shit out, so you can start getting "punished" the good way."

"Oh my god, please stop talking about this." I went and landed on my bed face down hoping they would leave me alone.

"I agree, now it's just creeping me out." I heard Jasper fake shiver.

I flopped back over on my back and just stared up at the wall.

"I don't know what there is to figure out. She hates me, and I have no idea why. Maybe because I didn't ask her what was wrong? Girls get mad over that kind of stuff right?"

"Yeah, when they're PMSing. Maybe that's the problem; it's not you at all. It's ya know, girl stuff. Give it a few days; maybe she'll snap out of it and everything will go back to normal." Jasper was seriously a genius. Why hadn't I thought of that?

"You're right. I'll just give her some time and space and before you know it everything will be fine."

After that I just laid on my bed while Emmett and Jasper played a video game. I was smiling to myself having figured it out. This was going to be a piece of cake.

A week went by and Bella did just what she said she was going to do. She didn't give me even the slightest glance in my direction. She still ate with us, but I'm pretty sure that's because Alice insisted she did. Otherwise I know she would gladly go sit at a table by herself and stick her nose in a book.

Every minute she sat there it killed me not to reach out and grab her hand, or to tuck a loose piece of hair behind her ear. Most of the time she had her back to me and talked to just Alice and Rose. Emmett and Jasper were starting to get a little pissed at me. Their girls were so concerned about Bella that they were "neglecting their girlfriend duties" as they put it.

I had two weeks until the Halloween party; I was determined to make things right by then. There was no way I was getting all decked out in a pinstripe suit and fedora if Bella wasn't going to be next to me in a barely there flapper dress. My dick was hard just thinking about it. I'd seen the dress Alice was making for her and there was no way in hell any other guy would be looking at her without me on her arm.

I just didn't know what to do. Even in the class we shared, she starting sitting in the front of the class, which I knew she hated. The project we were suppose to be working on together, she would just arrive early to class and leave her research on my usual desk. Knowing this I devised a plan.

The next time we had class I got there ridiculously early, but I wanted to make sure I wouldn't miss her. Just as I planned she walked into the room and immediately started to walk toward my desk in the back. Halfway up she looked up and her eyes widened with horror, she didn't know what to do. It hurt to know that it was because of me. I knew she wouldn't turn away now; she was too close and wouldn't want to look a fool.

She got to my desk and reached out to give me her research with shaking hands. I did the only things I could think of to keep her there. I took the papers with one hand and grabbed a hold of her hand with my other. She looked down at the floor and began to shake even more.

"Talk to me" I whispered.

"I can't" She looked up and I saw tears that were threatening to fall on her lid.

"Why?" My voice couldn't go higher than a hoarse whisper.

"I'm afraid"

"Of what, me?" I glanced up at her and saw a lone tear fall.

"No, of what I'm doing to you. That'll I never be whole again because of what that bastard did to me. That I'll always be a little emotionally stunted, that's not fair to you. But mostly I'm scared that I'm bringing you down with me" The tears started to flow. "I can handle everything else, but I can't handle what I'm doing to you. You deserve better."

I didn't have time to respond she was already out the door before my mouth could even open.

I spent the rest of class in a daze. Not really knowing what to think. But at this point I was pretty sure it was more that just a case of PMS.

**A/N Ok that was a lot harder that I though it was going to be. Writing from the guy's point of view is difficult; I didn't want Edward coming off as an ass or chauvinist pig. Hopefully I achieved that. I think most guys are simply unaware of how they piss us off and blame most of it on PMS. If they ever looked on a calendar they would see it's impossible to be PMSing every week!**

**Any who keep the reviews coming. I can not stress how happy they make me****J**** Adding me as a favorite makes me happy too, just not as much as reviews. Even if it's to tell me I suck.**


	16. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER**

**A/N So I have no excuse as to why this took so long other than plain old writers block. Everything I wrote was just not flowing so I took a step back and worked on others things. Thankfully this worked and things started to flow a little better**.

**BPOV**

To say I was depressed would be like saying the sun is just an ordinary star. I felt as if someone had torn through my body and ripped out my heart. There was an absence there, and I didn't know how to fill it. How can someone you only knew for such a short time wreak such havoc on you mind, body and soul.

I did just as I promised. I avoided Edward at all cost. This was amazingly hard when his sister refused to let me sit at a different table when we ate. I tried to tell her I wasn't hungry, which only worked about every third time. Most of the time being able to convince me to eat by telling me I was too thin, which I knew, but didn't really care. The thought of being able to just wither away to nothing was somewhat appealing, to just disappear.

I could always feel his eyes burning into the back of my head, but I knew if I gave in once and dared to look into those piercing green eyes I'd have the emotional breakdown I was keeping at bay. I couldn't let that happen. He'd come over on his white horse and try to save me once again. No, that could never happen. I wasn't good enough for even his concern. I was ruined; these past few months have ruined me.

Instead I walked around feeling like I was under the constant cover of a black rain cloud. People would talk and I would listen just enough to give them a generic answer; yes, no, maybe. It's amazing how people will accept that. I guess they are too absorbed in their own lives to realize I've said "ok" thirty seven times in a matter of ten minutes. Although it would have irritated me earlier, this ignorance was now a blessing. No one pressed for answers or wondered what was wrong. It was nice. I was able to exist without really existing.

Alice on the other hand was a different story. I had to be at least somewhat happy around her. She knew it was forced, but thankfully didn't push it. Rose didn't come around very often anymore, I'm pretty sure it's because of me. And as of late even Alice has been staying in Jasper's room. She told me awhile ago that my nightmares had come back and seemed worse than before. I course I knew this, if I wasn't the one experiencing them, you could have guessed by the dark circles under Alice's eyes that I was keeping her up. So along with the nightmares and telling Jasper to fuck off after he calmly told me everything was going to work out, I rarely see Alice, or any of my friends for that matter.

I almost couldn't believe my eyes when I walked in to my music history class and saw Edward sitting there, obviously waiting for me. I wanted to turn around and run, I wanted to never have to look into his sympathetic eyes ever again. Instead I gather up every ounce of courage I had and walked up to his desk. I knew he wanted to talk to me, but I was hoping to just leave my research and get the hell out of there. He grabbed my hand before I even had a chance to turn. He was hurting; I could hear it in his voice. It killed me to know I had done this to him, that I was capable of this kind of hurt.

After out short conversation, or lack of, I ran as fast as I could out of the room. Relieved not to hear him following me. I made it to the closest bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I sat there and cried, I cried until there was no way I could continue, cried until I vomited. Girls came and went while I was in there. No one ever bothering to ask if the girl in stall three was ok. If anything they would act disgusted that I couldn't do this in the privacy of my own room.

When I was sure I was alone I walked out of the stall and washed my face up the best I could. It was puffy and red, there was no way to hide that I had been crying, but I could at least try. I pulled out all the makeup I had packed away in my backpack and started to work on my face. After I did all I could do I rinsed out my mouth to get the vomit taste out. As wrong as I knew it was to think this, but it felt oddly thrilling to cry until I puked. I knew I need to stop those thoughts before I was sliding down a slippery slop with no one to stop me, because I knew I wouldn't stop on my own.

I finally got the courage to walk out of the bathroom. I knew by now our class would be over, so there was no chance of running into him in the hallway. Of course I couldn't not run into someone. I wasn't two feet out of the bathroom and I ran smack into one of the biggest guys I'd ever seen other then Emmett. He was tall, I'd gather taller than six foot. Short, spiky, jet black hair. His skin was a light tan color; I couldn't decide it he was Hawaiian, Native American, or Eskimo. I laughed internally at even the thought of the last one. I also had to laugh that I had knocked my ass down on the ground, but he looked like he was barely affected. Like a fly had just run into him, not a grown woman.

"Um, are you?" He asked. He had a very rough voice, it was oddly familiar.

"Yeah, happens all the time." He reached down to help my up, but I waved his hand away. After I finally dusted myself off, I looked up and he was just staring at me. "What?"

"You look like shit."

"Good" He looked down at me with a look of confusion. "At least I match how I feel."

He laughed so hard that it laughed throughout the empty hallway, which in turn made me laugh. It felt good to laugh. Even if it was at my own expense. After the laughing dies off he offered me his hand and I took it. My small hand looked like a child's compared to his.

"Jacob "

"Bella , lovely running it to you."

He laughed again, which started the whole thing over again. Tears were again falling from my eyes, but this time it was from laughter.

"You're pretty funny you know that?" He asked.

"I'm not really. I'm just any easy target to make fun of. Even for myself."

"You look familiar."

"I thought the same thing; you live here, or move here?"

"Moved here from Washington"

"Ok, getting closer. I'm from there too, Forks actually."

"No way!! Bella, as in Isabella Swan? You're Charlie's daughter." He was grinning from ear to ear now. I still couldn't place him. "I'm Billy Black son. We haven't seen each other for years. I probably look a lot different since the last time you saw me."

"Oh my god, Jacob! I can't believe how, well, grown up you are." When I was little me and this little punk had spent almost every day together.

"You too, what are you thirty?" He grinned a little.

"I feel like it" I chuckled a little but unable to hide the hurt in my laugh.

There was this awkward silence suddenly between the both of us. I didn't know what to say. I felt as if this had been a movie someone would have given me the perfect line to say right now, but I had nothing, just silence. Jacob finally broke it.

"Wanna go get something to eat? Catch up?" His voice sounded so hopefully. I wanted badly to go back to my room and cry some more, but I knew I needed to get out. Get more friends, friends that weren't connected to Edward. This was my chance.

"Yeah, that would be great. I'm starving."

His grin was so big it seemed like it was going to grow past the confines of his face. I laughed a little to myself. Maybe this wasn't going to be such a bad day after all, or at least maybe the worst was behind me.

We went and ate in the cafeteria. It was awkward at first; Alice was there with Jasper and just gave me this look of pure sadness as I walked with Jacob to our own table. Edward joined them later, I never actually saw him arrive, but I could feel his presence none the less. I'm sure he was sitting there right now wondering if he should come over and make sure I'm okay, you know just in case Jacob was thinking about eating me alive or something.

"So, what's new? I haven't seen you in so long, tell me everything." I asked Jacob once we sat down with our food.

That was all it took. He rambled on for what seemed like forever. Told me what he and his father had been up to, in other words what they had hunted recently. That even though he was a year younger than me, took summer classes so he could graduate early and get a jump start on college. I listened, and by that I mean I really listened. For the first time in weeks and sat back and listened to someone else. Maybe it was because it was about them, and not about their concern for me. I don't know it was some what refreshing.

"So what about you? Tell me all about your college experience so far."

I scoffed at even the idea of telling him the truth. I knew he would feel sorry for me if I did, but I was a terrible liar. I decided to just take the plunge. What's the worst that could happen? He be disgusted enough to leave me at the table alone, I could handle that.

"Well, let's put it this way. I'm sure you've heard of that girl that was, um violated, at the frat party?" I couldn't even look at him. I was so ashamed.

"Were you there? Oh man, I heard the police showed up and had to basically sedate the guy, he was screaming and yelling. Poor guy, supposedly it was just some hoe bag, and her boyfriend walked in on them, claimed it was rape so she wouldn't have to face the music when her boyfriend dumped her ass."

I cold feel the tears building up in my eyes. It wasn't that I hadn't heard these rumors. Several versions of it actually. But actually hearing one, to my face, was more than I could bare.

"Bella?" I saw his hand start to reach out to wipe a tear away and I back away instinctually. I looked up and saw the hurt on his face. I was so sick of that look. I knew I shouldn't have said anything, but I also knew he would have found out eventually. "Please tell me what I said. Did you know that guy or girl? I'm sorry I didn't mean to come off so uncaring."

"No, I don't know the guy, well didn't until that night." I stared down at my hands, willing him to figure it out on his own.

When I finally looked up his brows were still furrowed and I swear I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. My tear streaked face must have finally put it all together for him. His face went to that of confusion, to understanding, to angry in a matter of seconds. Before I had a chance to stop him he was stood up and banged his fist again the table, gathering the attention of everyone in the room. He then bent down right into my face and almost growled at me.

"What is his name?"

"Jake, sit down please, people are staring."

He did as I asked, reluctantly. I could see out of the corner of my eye, Edward was standing up, but Jasper had a hold of him and Alice was whispering in his ear.

Jake then turned and faced me. He had so much anger in his eyes they were almost black.

"Tell me everything." He didn't ask, he demanded.

"It's already done. You can't fix it." I stated matter of factly

"Do you know what people are saying about you? Do you know this dick has everyone fooled? I can't believe you're just going to roll over and let people walk all over you!" He yelled in a forced whisper.

"First of all, don't for one second pretend you know what's going on, ok. The only reason I even told you is we both know how shitty of a liar I am and I knew you would put the pieces together eventually. And of course I know what people are saying. You just confirmed one of the many stories." I yelled back between clenched teeth.

"What the hell was this "so-called" boyfriend of your doing? Huh?"

"He wasn't my boyfriend then" I realized my slip and tried to back track. "He's not my boyfriend now."

"But he was, at one time?"

Damn.

"It's complicated I really don't want to get into it." I peeked over my shoulder and saw Edward has his eyes fixed on Jacob and me.

"That him?"

"What?"

"You think I'm stupid Bella. You think it's escaped me that he hasn't taken his eyes off you since he sat down. Honestly I just thought he had some kind of weird crush on you, but now it all makes sense. He dump you cause you were too much of a hassle?"

"Don't"

"Didn't want to have to deal with what happens after you save the girl?"

"Stop it"

"No, I want to know. You look like you've been hit by a train ten times over. If that guy had anything to do with it, I want to know, so I can beat his ass!"

"Enough! I'm not some damsel in distress that needs a prince on speed dial! I broke up with him, I dumped him. Are you happy? Are you satisfied with my answers?"

His face started to calm down a little. He opened his mouth several times only to shut it seconds later.

"I'm sorry. I just… I wanted…" He looked completely torn.

"It's okay. Like I said, it already happened. We can't change it now. And I refuse to bring any one else down with me because of it. You are my new beginning, sort of, my old, new beginning." I laughed a little, trying to brighten the mood.

"Now that I look at him, he looks broke."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in.

"Jacob, please don't. It's hard enough not to think about it everyday, I don't need you pointing out the obvious."

"Sorry"

"Don't be sorry, just stop talking about it."

"Okay, but I really don't know how I'm going to tell a better college story then the one you just dropped on me. Well there was this one time…"

I started laughing hysterically. Before we had grown apart, we would watch American Pie religiously, over and over again. Every story we would ever tell would always start "there was this one time…" For a brief moment I felt like I was back in Forks, just hanging out with my best friend. It was wonderful to escape like that.

"Look, I know you feel weird around me know, and I completely understand. But Alice, that pixie looking one over there, is having a Halloween party this weekend. Please come. They all look at me like I'm a piece of glass ready to shatter. If you were there, I wouldn't feel so…. Fragile."

"First off, I don't feel weird around you. You're still Bella, nothing is going to change that, you are strong woman. And I've already been invited." I looked up at him in pure shock. "That "pixie" over there has invited half the school. She's in one of my classes and got up in front of the whole class before the professor was there and yelled the time, date and as she put it costume specifications, whatever that means. I just know, I can't dress as Tinkerbell, Peter Pan, Goldilocks, a bear, or in any kind of flapper dress. Amazingly I'm ok with this."

I couldn't help but laugh at him again. Just the thought of him dressing up as Peter Pan caused me to laugh so hard I started to hiccup.

"Ok, ok enough. What are you laughing about?"

"I was just thinking of you in green tights" I barely got the sentence out before I was laughing again, but this time Jacob joined me.

"So who's who?" Jacob asked after the laughter died down.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, she must have some reason why no one else can dress that way."

"Oh, I gotcha. Well obviously Alice is Tinkerbell, and that guy she's with Jasper, he actually agreed to be Peter Pan. Rosalie, Jasper's sister, is going to be Goldilocks, and her guy Emmett is going to be the bear, cause honestly he's as big as one."

"And the flapper dress?"

"Well, me and….. um ….." I just couldn't bring myself to say his name. I let a big breath of air I'd been holding and just spit it out "Edward, well we were suppose to be like all Great Gatsby like. It was too late to change the costumes; Alice already had them done, so I'm stuck with a flapper dress."

"Oh I see"

It was silent for a really long time. Neither one of us knew what to say. I kept waiting for him to throw in towel and realize I was too far gone. But he just sat there and ate his food, in silence.

He startled me when he finally did speak.

"Can I ask you a question? And you don't have to answer it if you don't want to. I'm just curious."

"Shoot"

"When are you suppose to testify?"

I stopped with my mouth hanging open and my fork inches away. Flashbacks of the several fights Edward and I had had over this very topic.

"Like I said you don't have to answer" Jacob quickly said, seeing my obvious hesitance.

"I don't want to fight. So if I tell you, you have to just be supportive, ok?"

"Of course, I would never be anything less."

"Well, I haven't actually decided if I'm going to press charges."

I looked up at him quickly and he face got very still and tight. His eyes almost returned to the same black color they were earlier. I wasn't even sure he was breathing.

"Jake? I just, I can't right now. You've heard the rumors that are circulating now; it would just get worse and….."

"SO!" He cut me off. "Who gives a shit what other people are saying? He's winning if you don't do this. He beat you if you let him walk away. What does Charlie have to say about this?"

"No! Do not tell Charlie, he doesn't know and I'd like to keep it that way. It would kill him and you know it. Jake, just please let me do this in my own time. I'm getting there, I really am" wow I was a better liar than I thought, "I'm just not ready as of yet. I'm scared." I looked up at him through my lashes really hoping that my pathetic attempt at him feeling sorry for me would work.

"Fine, but get there fast. I'll end up in jail for killing the guy before you put him there yourself. My dad would disown me."

"Yeah, but I'd come visit." I said with a smile hoping to lighten the mood. It worked. We stayed for a little longer and chatted about everything we could think of.

I had to admit, I felt like the clouds were parting and there might be hope for me yet.

The rest of the week seem to fly by. I was swamped with homework, which Alice made perfectly clear needed to be done by Saturday. Nothing was going to ruin our fun, she said. So I spent most of my nights hunched over my desk working on essays, spreadsheet, and research for later projects.

I'd had lunch with Jacob a few more times. It was nice to get away from the force that is the Cullens. Alice never asks me about Jake. That's one nice thing about Alice, she knows when to push and when to back off.

I was sitting at my desk Saturday afternoon when I heard a tap on the door. I was confused because Alice wasn't here and she was the only one who got visitors.

After the second tap I finally got up and went to the door. I opened it and was quite surprised to see Rosalie standing there.

"Hey Rose, um I don't know if you're looking for Alice, but she went to go pick up more party stuff."

"Actually, I came to talk to you." She whispered softly.

"Well come in, sit down." I tried to keep the mood light. I liked Rose, but honestly she scared the crap out of me. She could turn on you in a second, and she was on fierce woman. " What can I do ya for?"

"Bella, I was really hoping you would pull out of this funk on your own. That I wouldn't have to have this conversation. But it's obvious your not."

She stopped and took a big breath. I was suddenly panicked, my heart rate went up immediately and I felt like I was going to hyperventilate.

"Settle down Bella. I'm not going to yell at you, I just want to tell you a little something about myself ok? Just relax."

She said the words, but they didn't register. I still felt as if my heart would jump out of my chest. She eventually just sighed and continued.

"I know from the outside looking in I appear to be tough. Really I'm just like any normal girl, same insecurities, same fears. You and I, we have a lot in common. When I was in high school, I was pretty popular. I was captain of the cheerleaders, played any sport they threw and me and excelled, I walked around with my head held high. I had a date every weekend. Guys flocked to me and girls hated me for it. For some reason I had gotten it in my head that high school boys were no longer any good for me. I wanted a man, not a boy. So I flaunted my shit around the college hangouts, saying I was nineteen, acting like a was so mature. I finally caught the eye of one. He seemed so sweet and we set up a date for that next weekend. I told everybody that would listen about my date with the college stud. Girls were so envious of me, and the guys were jealous. I felt on top of the world.

Well that weekend came up and I made sure I looked hotter than hot. Wore my tightest skirt, my lowest top and highest heels. He picked me up in his brand new Audi, and took me to the fanciest restaurant in town, it was perfect. Then he asked if I wanted to go to the best spot in town to see the stars. All I could think was how romantic and went with him willingly. We weren't there but five minutes and his hands were all over me. At first I enjoyed it, smiled to myself at what I could brag about Monday morning at school."

She paused and took a big breath, almost willing herself to go on

"That's when things took a turn for the worst. He started getting rougher, expecting more. I tried to politely push him off, but he thought I was just playing hard to get. I finally gave him one final push and told him to get off me. I spouted off that I was really seventeen and I needed to get home before my parents wondered where I was. He was so pissed Bella. I have never seen anyone so mad in my whole life. He locked me in his car and drug me to the back seat by my hair. I was still so vain, all I could think about was don't pull any out, that would look like shit. Then he tied the seat belt around my wrist and ripped of my clothes in a matter of minutes. I'm not going to go into the detail of the rest. I'm sure you pretty much know how it goes. But I will tell you he left me there. Out in the middle of nowhere. I had no idea where I was, how to direct people to come get me. I just waited, eventually my parents started to worry and called the police. They found me eventually, after I sat out in the rain for hours, laying on a pile of leaves. I did the same as you, fought against everyone that said I needed to press charges, stand up to him. Finally I gave in, and felt as if the weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt empowered that I had stopped him from doing this to anyone else. I told you this story for two reasons. First, to let you know that I am always here for you, even if it doesn't seem like it. And when or if you ever decide to go talk to the police, I will go with you and stand by your side. Second, I had no Edward, no one came out and saved me. Give the guy a break. I agree he could handle things a little more calmly, but he cares for you and is only worried about you. Don't listen to what people say Bella, you'll never pull yourself back up if you do. They weren't there, only you were. You know what happened and that's all that matters. I hope that you really think about what I've told you. "

I didn't know what to say. For quite a few minutes there was just silence. Rose finally leaned over and gave me a hug and I finally let go. I cried so hard into her shoulder I couldn't see. And she just held me, didn't say a word.

After awhile my crying slowed and Rose let go of me.

"Thank you. You've given me a lot to think about."

"Yeah, kind of bad timing with the party and all tonight. I just had to tell you. Act happy, Alice will kill me if I ruined your mood." She pointed at me sternly but couldn't keep the smile from creeping across her face.

" I will. Thank you again."

She turned to walk out, but spun again to face me.

"Oh and, please don't tell anyone about this. Nobody knows but you and I'd like to keep it that way."

"You have my word, not a soul will know." I locked my lips with my fingers.

She left and with in a matter of minutes Alice showed up, bouncing up and down.

"Time to get ready, time to get ready!!"

"Alice seriously, settle down. How about you get ready now, and I'll go jump in the shower and then you can help me."

"Ugh, fine, but hurry up."

I walked past her trying to avoid her glare and attempt to guilt trip me with a pout.

I undressed quickly and hopped in the shower turning the water as hot as it would go. I sat there for the longest time just letting Rose's words sink in. Maybe she was right. Maybe I should stand up for myself. It was funny both Edward and Jake had told me the same thing, but somehow her confession made it really hit home.

The problem was, I couldn't do this alone. And I knew who I wanted to help me, but would he even give me the time of day after what I did to him?

By the time I got out of the shower, I'd made up my mind that I was going to talk to Edward tonight. He might reject me, but I had to try.

Mid thought, Alice started pounding on the bathroom door.

"Bella! Get your skinny little ass out her now! I'm dressed and ready, you should be too."

I opened the door and nearly fell over laughing.

There stood Alice, in lime green dress with a green and black tutu at her hips. Her hair was extra spiky with glitter in it, along with glitter all over her body, she literally sparkled. Somehow she managed to find a pair of green and white wings and a pixie wand to complete her outfit. I had to give her credit though, she spiced it up by wearing a cute pair of black heals with a strap around the ankle. I fully expected her to go with flats.

"Stop laughing and get you ass over here." she demanded.

"I can't wait to see Jasper."

We didn't talk while she made me up. Alice was in dress up mode. And I have to admit, the outfit she made me was gorgeous, yet pretty simple. It was a black and silver flapper dress, cut kinda low but not to low as to make me feel uncomfortable. In my hair she placed a head band that almost look like it could have been taken of a twenties style hat. Paired with how she styled my hair, down and wavy, it was beautiful. I was pleasantly surprised to see the shoes she picked out. Black maryjanes heels, that she assured me, even I could fall over in. And to top it all off, Alice lent me some of her jewelry, a set of pearl bracelets, and gorgeous cherry blossom earrings. I'll say it again, I am very much impressed.

Then she handed me a black beaded purse.

"Why do I need this? The party is here, on this floor. It's not like we're going out."

"Just take it. It completes the outfit I worked my butt of for."

"Whatever."

I noticed then that she had a small cupcake purse covered in glitter hanging from her elbow. It fit her jsut perfect.

"Hey bitches" I turned around to see Rosalie come through the door. Just seeing her made a smile spread across my face. "Thoughts?"

She spun around in the doorway. She was the skankiest Goldilocks I have ever seen. She wore a skin tight dress that was white on top, with a black belt , and a blue and white checkered bottom. The white thigh highs she wore, really showed off her gorgeous legs and the bow at the top was like the cherry on a sundae. She was going to drive guys nuts. Her shoes were pretty down played, just a pair of tan maryjanes heels. Her hair was left long and flowing with a simply blue headband with a bow. And around her neck was a heart shaped necklace the same shade of red as her lips. There was no question, she was beautiful.

"Wow, Emmett's gonna have to keep an eye on you. You look gorgeous Rose."

"Wait, hold that thought. You're missing a crucial prop."

Alice ran into her room and before we could ask what's what she appeared again with a wicker bag with blue trim in tow.

"Here, I found this the other day and it just completes the costume"

"Why do I need a purse?"

"Rose...." I was gonna tell her to drop it but Alice was already in a full fledge tantrum. I swear you could see her turn red just like the real Tinkerbell.

"God!! It completes the outfit! Can't you girls appreciate a good ensemble when you see one?!"

"Hey Tink!"

Thank god, Jasper.

"Peter!!!!"

Alice ran over to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Right behind him was Emmett.

They wre both dressed accordingly. Emmett in his giant teddy bear costume, which he barely fit in. And Jasper in a green tunic like thing with a pointy hat, and last but not least green tights.

"Hey sis? Just thinkin, shouldn't you be Wendy, I mean wasn't that Pan's lover?" Emmett asked. And by the evidence of the giant grin across his face, it was just to get a rise out of her. It worked. They stepped off to the side and got into a heated debate over Peter Pan.

While Alice was distracted, I took this as my chance to ask about Edward.

"Hey Jas?" I paused gathering my courage. Jasper waited patiently. "Is.. um.. Edward coming down?"

"He said he'd meet up with us later. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

I felt terrible. People were adjusting there lives for me. This was not fair. If anything I should leave and come back later. These were his friends, his family. I took them away from him.

"Thanks. And Jasper." he looked up at me. "I'm sorry for the things I've said to you. I didn't mean them. I just...."

"It's ok"

"No, it's really not. It was rude and...."

"Bella, I said it's ok. You're forgiven. You got a lot of crap going on. I'm always here if you need to yell at someone to blow off some steam"

I laughed. Somehow Jasper always knew just what to say to brighten the mood. Well almost always.

"Ok people. Show time!!" Alice shrieked.

For the rest of the evening I rarely saw any of them again. Jake didn't lie, Alice had invited half the damn school. At least it seemed like it.

I was getting myself some punch when a pair of hands grabbed be around the waist. I spun around so fast I spilled what I had in my cup all over my shirtless attacker.

"Woah, settle down Bella. It's just me, Jake."

"Oh my god. You scared me" I reached out and punched him in the arm "Don't ever do that again."

"Sorry. Do you wanna hand me a few napkins. I don't want to walk around sticky all night."

After he cleaned himself up we found a pair of empty seats and sat down.

"So what exactly are you Jake? Besides half naked."

"Does it bother you?" He ran his hands over his chest to mock me.

"Shut up and answer the question."

"I'm a wolf. See the fur?" Now that he pointed it out, he did have a big wolf hide hanging off his back. "My tribe are big in the wolf department and I had this lying around. So I thought to myself, cheap and easy costume. And I get to flaunt my amazing muscles."

He flexed again and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey you're hurting the ego here."

" I doubt I could penetrate it." I opened my mouth to say something else, but my eyes caught sight of Edward. He was all decked out in a white dress shirt with a black vest over it, and a pair of nice dress pants. Covering his amazing hair was a pinstriped fedora. He looked, well I can't even think of a word to describe how good he looks.

But what really caught my eye was the two blonde bimbos talking him up. Jessica and Lauren. And he was laughing. I could feel the tears start to well up.

"You're better than them." I jumped at the sound of Jake's voice.

"Then why is he over there with them, laughing."

"Because he's stupid. If I had you once, I would have never let you go."

I turned to look at Jake and he brushed a tear from my cheek. Before I knew it he was leaning in and his lips made contact with mine.

I was too stunned to move. Nothing felt right. Jake's lips didn't feel like Edward's or match up perfectly like ours did. His hands were dry, and rough, not soft and gentle. I finally came out of my daze long enough to push him off me.

"Jacob, I don't think this is a good idea."

He hands went up and rubbed in to his face.

"If he wanted you Bella, he would have fought harder." he growled out.

"You don't know him, you don't' know the situation. I didn't give him a choice." I hissed backed. I stood to walk away, but was stopped by his hand.

"Don't go." He sounded so hurt and angry.

"I just need a moment to myself. Just give me that ok?"

He didn't say anything, and I walked away without looking back.

I headed back to my room, and unlocked it. We decided that during party hours we would keep it locked to avoid any missing items or our beds being used.

I turned around to lock it back up and it was pushed back open. Before I could process what was happening, Jessica and Lauren were in my room blocking me from the door.

"Don't have your friends to back you up now do you?" Jessica snarled.

I couldn't think of anything to say. I was somewhat afraid of what they had planned.

"Or even your boyfriend. Oh wait we heard through the grape vine you two are caput." Lauren chimed in.

"What did we tell you. You are nothing. You are not worth Edwards time. He deserves someone he can be seen out in public with. Not you, some hillbilly who just came off the farm."

I tried to tune out there verbal lashing, but they just kept at it. Both taking turns throwing insults at me. I almost wished they had done something physical to me. That wouldn't hurt as much.

I felt a hand touch my chin and lift my head up to come face to face with both of them. I laughed internally as I finally looked at thier costumes, Jessica was dressed as an angel and Lauren the devil.

"Listen bitch, we're gonna tell you one more time. Stay away from him. He's ours. And don't go running to tell you friends, or next time we won't be so nice to you." Lauren spat.

They walked out as quickly as they had come in.

I heard the door click and slunk to the floor. I wanted nothing more than to just disappear at that moment.

Just then I heard our bathroom door handle turn. Someone had been in there, had heard the whole thing.

I jumped behind my bed, and laid down on the ground.

"Bella?"

Oh god. Edward.

**A/N Ok again, sorry for the delay. I will definatly try to get the next one out faster. Pics of the costumes are in my profile. Except Emmett's it's amazingly hard to find a pic of an adult bear costume that isn't completly lame.**


	17. Chapter 17

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER. I DO OWN ONE CRANKY TEETHING 5 MONTH OLD.**

**EPOV**

I'd spent the rest of my Music History class in a daze. I really wanted to go and find Bella but I knew deep down that would just make things worse. I just kept telling myself, she needs time, give her time and space.

After class was over I stuck around a little longer hoping she would come back to see what she missed. She never came.

Finally I decided I should join Alice and Jasper for lunch, especially since I'd told them previously I would. I didn't want them thinking I stood them up.

When I walked in the cafeteria my eyes were immediately drawn to Bella. She was at a different table. Not alone either. She was sitting there with some guy I'd never seen before, and laughing. It had been so long since I'd seen her laugh that I smiled briefly. But then it hit me, she wasn't smiling at me or with me, this guy she was with was the one making her smile. My heart broke a thousand times over. What I wouldn't give to be in his place right now.

My body may have been at a table with Alice and Jasper, but my mind was elsewhere. I could have started on fire and I wouldn't have known. I watched Bella and her mystery man intently. I saw him get angry once and I was on my way over there but Alice and Jasper stopped me and talked me down from doing something I would have regretted later.

The rest of the week I was a mess. I knew Bella needed some time to figure things out but I was going out of my mind. To see her, but not touch her. To smell her but not taste. It was beginning to be too much. And since my attempt to talk to her backfired I really didn't know what else to do but wait.

I was dressed and ready to go to Alice's party when I heard a knock on my door. I figured it must be Jasper. He was going to tell me when the other were ready.

To my surprise Rosalie stood there.

"Uh, hey. Emmett's not here, I actually thought he was with you."

"He is, well he was. I, uh, snuck away so I could talk to you for a moment."

"Ok…. Shoot"

Rose and I maybe had said two whole sentences to each other since she started dating Emmett. I wasn't exactly here biggest fan, she was a total bitch and that was putting things maybe more, but the point is, I didn't know why she would come to talk to me.

"Look, I know we don't exactly see eye to eye, but I wanted to give you some advice about Bella." She looked at me and I swear I actually saw something resembling a human emerge. " Don't give up on her.."

"I'm not Rose" I interrupted

"I'm not finished. Impatient bastard" She mumbled. Damn the bitch was back. " Just listen ok. I know it will be hard and it will be frustrating to where you'll want to pull that beautiful hair of yours out, but she needs to know this isn't her fault. I 'm not going to go into details, but I know how she feels and I know that right now she's blaming herself and thinks that everything she touches will turn to garbage. She needs to know you'll stand by her no matter what. I know you've tried, but try harder. But at the same time she needs to learn to stand on her own two feet. Don't be white knight, just be her equal. I know this is all confusing and I know it's asking a lot, but I have a feeling you are the only one that is going to be able to pull her out of this self imposed exile."

"It's not too much to ask, Rose. You are her friend and I appreciate what you are doing for her. I just wish I knew how to go about what you are asking. She won't even talk to me. You are right she thinks she is bringing me down with her. I'm so lost."

My voice broke a little at the end. I'd never been this vulnerable in from of anyone before. What she said was true and not anything Jasper, Emmett and I hadn't discussed, but when she said it, it really hit home.

"You'll figure it out. I know you will. But if you hurt her at all I will cut off your balls and feed them to you, got it." There she was, good ole Rose was back. I couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Laugh all you want, but I'm serious. Blood doesn't faze me at all."

"Rose, don't worry. Once I figure this all out and Bella is back in my arms, she will never be leaving them again."

"Good. See you down at the party. Try to enjoy yourself, have fun, and then get some well needed sleep. You look like shit."

"As always, thanks for the compliment. Now go march off and compliment Emmett. It's funnier when you do it to him, he thinks your joking."

With that Rosalie walked down the hall and disappeared down the steps. I thought her words over. I wanted to ask her how she knew how Bella felt, but I have to admit I was afraid what she might say.

I went back in my room and layed out on my bed. I went through ideas in my head, but just as quickly as I came up with them I discarded them. I was deep in thought when another knock came from my door.

"Rose, I said I'd handle ….Oh shit hey Jas."

"Please don't ever answer the door saying my sister's name. That's just creepy. That and Emmett would kick your ass. Which I have to admit would be funnier than hell. Why did you say her name?"

I waited until I knew his little mini rant was over.

"She was hounding me earlier about being ready." I lied, He seem to buy it.

"Ok well it seems as though everyone is dressed and ready to make our grand entrance. You coming down to join us?"

"I don't think so. It will just make Bella uncomfortable. I'll meet guys downstairs."

"Alright man. See ya."

I knew I was going against everything Rosalie had just told me but I wanted to gather my thoughts and think of something perfect to say to Bella that wouldn't have her running away. I wasn't beyond being sappy, but Bella wasn't that kind of girl. She didn't want me spouting off Shakespeare as if it were my own, she deserved something original.

When I finally thought of the perfect words I headed out to join the rest of the group. I was pretty surprised to see the entire floor packed. I didn't even want to know how Alice went about getting it this packed.

I ran into Alice and Jasper within the first hour I was there, but after that I didn't run into any of them. This party sucked. I mean under different circumstances I would be having a blast and probably three sheets to the wind right now. But I had things on my mind, scratch that I had Bella on the mind.

I had just finished getting myself some punch when I turned around and right into the scank parade.

"Edward!" Jessica squealed. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Me too" Purred Lauren next to her. I wanted to vomit.

"Well Lauren your costume fits you pretty well, but Jessica, really, who are you kidding."

Lauren was smiling from ear to ear, I really hadn't meant it as a compliment. Jessica on the other hand was pouting up a storm.

"Ladies, what was it that you needed?"

"Where's your girlfriend?" Jessica demanded. I suddenly felt very defensive. What ever these girls were up to was not good.

"She's around" I lied for the second time that night. I didn' feel as bad about it this time though.

"Really." Jessica didn't seem to buy it.

"That's funny. We heard she went all psycho on you and dump your pretty little behind." Lauren had a smug look on her face as if she felt she deserved some kind of trophy for revealing this to me.

" Well I guess that's what happens when you listen to rumors. " I didn't know why I was lying to them. I guess because in the back of my mind we weren't split up, just on a break. And not on a break like Rachel and Ross. At least I don't think so. Bella had once explained this to me, she was laughing hysterically as she explained episode after episode of the shenanigans that ensued after Ross and Rachel were "on a break".

"Whatever Edward. When you're ready to handle a real woman call me" The look on Lauren's face made me want to vomit. It was a mixture of stupidity and lust. I didn't even know it was possible to combine those two, but I guess with these two anything is possible.

Jessica wiggled her fingers at me as they turned and walked away. The way she looked at me sent shivers down my spine. As she went out of my view a beautiful face replaced her image. Bella was sitting there, looking so damn delicious. I wanted to go to her, but yet again she was with that guy, laughing, again.

"Need a breather?"

"Alice, where have you been all night? I've been just puddering around."

"Mingling, you should try it."

"Not really up for it."

"Here," She held out a set of keys for me. "They are the keys to my room. Go in there, gather your thoughts, she'll be here when you return."

I leaned in and gave my sister a hug.

"Thanks, you're the best."

"I know, tootles" She waved me off as I started off into the crowd toward her room, Bella's room.

When I got there I just wanted to inhale the sent of Bella's bed, her pillow, anything that even remotely smelled like her. Unfortunately I wasn't able enjoy any of it, for as soon as I was getting settled in there I realized I had to take a piss.

I made my way to the bathroom, and to my pleasure it also smelled of Bella. Call me a pervert but I smelled anything that belonged to her. Her hairbrush, shampoo bottle. Yeah I'm that pathetic.

After I was done peeing I reached for the handle on the toilet to flush when I heard voices. Great, I forgot to lock the door, Alice was going to kill me.

Trying to be stealthy, I tip toed over to the door to see if I recognized the voices. My heart sank, when I realized it was Bella. Bella was in her room, I was in Bella's room. I went to reach for the knob when I heard a second voice and then a third. I strained my ears to hear and was instantly angry when I realized who else was here.

I listened silently as Lauren and Jessica berated Bella in the worst ways. She was being kicked while still down. And from what I could tell she was pretty silent through the whole thing. Why didn't she stand up for herself.

"Edward is ours, got it bitch" one of them said. I couldn't quite make out who was who through the door.

Say something Bella! Tell them I'm yours, that you won't let them have me. I wanted to bust through the door and save her, but I knew Rosalie was right, Bella needed to learn to stand up for herself. I just wish she would say something, say fuck off, say he's your I don't want him. Something, anything.

"Listen bitch, we're gonna tell you one more time. Stay away from him. He's ours. And don't go running to tell you friends, or next time we won't be so nice to you." They reiterated.

One more time? How many times had they had this conversation? Then it was like a light bulb when of, the restaurant. Bella had been fine until she had come back from the bathroom, followed by Lauren and Jessica. How had I been so blind. These two had been out to get her from the minute they saw us together. I felt like such an idiot. I accused her of being jealous, I was so wrong.

I heard soft sobbing coming from the other side of the door. Jessica and Lauren must have left. I knew it was now or never. So I slowly turned the handle on the door and braced myself for whatever was on the other side.

I was surprised when I saw nothing.

"Bella?"

Nothing

Where could she have gone?

I headed for the door, determined to find her and make sure she was ok. That those two hadn't drug her off somewhere to verbally torture her some more.

I wasn't two feet out the door when I was grabbed around upper arm and stopped cold.

"What the....."

"Where is she?"

I turned to face the person who halted my mission. I was a little taken back when I saw Bella's "friend". I didn't have time for this, so I just ignored him and turned around to leave. He had other plans, as his hand went unmoved. I was a little surprised at how strong he was, sure he was big but that didn't always mean strength.

"I asked, where is Bella?" He asked, almost growling.

"Look I don't have time for this. She ran out, I'm going to look for her right now."

"What did you do?"

I was really getting sick of his demanding questions.

"I really don't think this is any of your business... uh" I waited for him to tell me his name.

"Jacob."

"Jacob. I need to go find Bella. Make yourself useful and go that way." I pointed in the opposite direction I was heading. I knew there was no way she would have gone that way, as Lauren and Jessica were just twenty feet away.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a dog. Did you treat her the same way? Huh? Is this why she's so broken?" He yelled at me.

"You don't know the first thing about us. I would do anything for that girl, no that woman. And if that means stepping back while she figures things out, so be it.

"So that it? You're just gonna let her sink into the oblivion? You don't deserve her. I would have taken care of her. I would have made sure she was never put in that position to begin with!"

We were no longer talking about Bella's where abouts or our lack of a relationship. He'd stepped over a line and I was so angry I couldn't even see straight.

"You have no right to bring that up! You weren't there!"

"I know I wasn't there. Because if I had been, she would still be happy, carefree Bella."

"You don't think I don't wish I'd gone up there five minutes earlier? You don't think I don't have Bella's terrified face burned into my memory forever. I don't go one day without beating myself up. I could have been more alert, I could.... I could have....."

I had to stop. My mind was replaying that night and I was dangerously close to falling to my knees and giving up. Telling him I know I don't deserve her. I don't deserve one ounce of the affection to has shown me.

"But you didn't, and you weren't alert enough" He hissed at me. "You are a pathetic excuse......."

"ENOUGH!"

I looked up from where my eyes had fixated on the floor. I didn't see anyone, and I was beginning to think I had imagined the voice. That was until Jacob moved his big gorilla like to reveal Bella standing behind him in her doorway.

I let out a breathe of air I didn't realize I had been holding and allowed a brief smile to cross my lips. Even though she had obviously been crying, her eyes being all puffy and red, she looked like a woman on a mission. She was shooting daggers into the back of Jacob's head, and I'd be lying if I didn't say that made me happy. I'd never really seen her _this _angry, she could have spat fire right into his face

"You will not talk to him like that Jake. You are not allowed to speak to anyone I care about like that." My heart melted, she still cared.

She then turned her attention to me and her eyes softened while fresh tears formed around the edge. I didn't even think my next move over, I brushed past Jacob, grabbed Bella and pulled her into my body as if she were my life line. To my surprise she didn't push me away. In fact I could feel her tiny fists grab onto my vest and hold tight, as if she were afraid I was going to disappear.

"Bella" I whispered her name into her ear. This only made her cry harder.

"It's not your fault" She sobbed into my chest.

"What?" What was she talking about. My argument with Jacob, of course it wasn't my fault, he stopped me.

"There is nothing you could have done to save me. I did it to myself. It's my fault, not yours."

It hit me then. Rose was right, she blamed herself more than I thought she did.

All I could do was hold onto her as tight as I could. I wanted her to feel what I couldn't express into words, that I wasn't going to give up on her, that I wasn't going to let go.

**A/N Ok, again sorry it took so long. I have no excuse. I am starting a new story, but I promise that it will not take away from my devotion to this one. I would really feel more motivated to get chapters out faster if more people reviewed :)**

**I do want to thank my constant reviewers, clancy119, TexasTwilight77, j-brat, Flora73, seriously you guys keep me motivated. I will no longer resort to begging for reviews, but the more reviews I get the faster we will get to some lemony goodness. :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER. I BELONG TO MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND WHO JUST BOUGHT ME A NEW MP3 PLAYER.**

**BPOV**

I didn't want to let go of Edward. I griped onto him as if my life depended on it. Suddenly by that door, in the middle of a Halloween party, it all just clicked in my head.

I am worth Edward's love.

He stood up for me when all I had been doing was pushing him away. He didn't have to, he didn't know I was listening, but he did.

I wanted him to know it wasn't his fault. That there was nothing he could have done to stop what had happened. That was all on me. With the way I had treated him, he should have just let me there to suffer. Instead he saved me, and now he is suffering because he feels he didn't get there soon enough.

"You wanna go for a walk, get some fresh air?" Edward asked. His tone was gentle, but I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was petrified. I'm sure he thought this was just a brief reunion, and I would storm out on him again. I needed to set this straight tonight; he was going to have to pull himself from my dead arms for me to leave his side again.

All I could do was nod. My voice had left the building.

"Really?" He said stunned.

I have to admit it stung a bit, but I deserved it. I had essentially ignored him for the past few weeks.

To answer I just grabbed he hand and started for the exit. We were already turned and walking away when someone caught my arm and pulled me back.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" A voice whispered in my ear.

It was Jacob. After the way he had talked down to Edward. How he degraded him over things he knew nothing about, I wanted nothing to do with him. He sounded like a jealous teenager fighting over the head cheerleader. I didn't like it one bit. Never once did Edward sink that low, in fact sometimes he just sounded defeated, as if Jacob were right.

"I know I want someone who _stands_ up for me. Not someone who thinks they need to _speak_ for me. When you figure out the difference come see me. Maybe we can be friends again."

I was surprised at my own words. I knew that probably felt like a slap in the face to Jake, but it was how I felt. He had no right to tell Edward he wasn't good enough for me. That was for me and me only to decide.

I turned around to see Edward face looking just as shocked. That quickly turned in to a smirk when I grabbed his hand again and headed out. I let myself turn and take one final look at Jake. He looked pissed. The hurt from my words were long gone, and now just the anger of my decision was left. I chose Edward over him, the man who in his eyes was the cause of my zombie like existence. I willed myself to look away. I felt like everything I touched ended up getting hurt in some way. I was everybody's bad luck charm. At least I was small, easy to carry around, or maybe that was a bad thing.

I held on tightly to Edward's hand the whole time we traveled through the crowd. I spotted Rosalie; she just smiled and winked at me. I couldn't help but smile back. . I owed her more than I could ever repay. She had given me back my strength which I hadn't even known I'd lost.

When we finally made it outside I wasted no time. With my new found confidence I grabbed Edward and forced his lips to mine. He was more than willing to reciprocate. I'd forgotten how magical his lips were as they moved against mine. Every part of my body felt alive. It was as if I had been missing a crucial part of my being and now it was returned to me. I can't believe how stupid I was for so long. To push this man away from me, to think that he couldn't feel the same way I felt. He did though, and I wanted to show him just how much he really meant to me. I poured every ounce of emotion I had been withholding in to our kiss. I felt his hands moved up to cup my face. It sent a shock through my body that gave me goose bumps all over. I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss when I felt his hands move from my face to my shoulders. He was pushing me away.

"Bella."

His voice sounded so uncertain. My head was spinning, I honestly didn't know if I could handle this. I knew I would be too late, I pushed him too far. How could he ever want to be with a mess like me?

"No" my mouth squeaked out without my permission. My face fell and I could feel tears starting to form.

"What's wrong? Please don't cry. I really can't handle that tonight. I can't handle seeing you broken anymore."

I tried to gather my thoughts, and push back the tears. I wanted this all out in the open.

"Am I too late? I'm, I'm too bro.. broken" my voice betrayed me and broke.

"What?! No. Oh god I'm an idiot." He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I just think maybe we should talk a little before we start making out like fourteen year olds. Not that I minded that at all."

I laughed a little and then let out a big gust of air.

"Look" He continued. "I just, god this sounds so selfish, I just can't take losing you again. It would just tear me apart. These past couple weeks have been the worst I have ever experienced. I tried so hard to give you your space, but it was becoming increasingly hard. I just need to know that you're back or at least somewhat back. I want the feisty brunette that called me an asshole. I want her."

"You want me to call you an asshole again?" I teased.

"You know I love it when you talk dirty." He said, playing along with my game.

"Well I've got a whole lot more where that came from. I am the name calling, dirty talking queen."

Edward stared and me and then burst out laughing. I couldn't help but join him. It was like we never had split up. It was amazing how comfortable he made me feel. As if we had known each other for years rather than months.

"Ok,well, phew, it's a relief to know you're now throwing me to the curb. I think I was about two seconds away from having an emotional meltdown. I'm really trying Edward. I can't promise anything, but some things were put into perspective for me and well I know I can't let what happened to me rule my life." I paused to look at his reaction and he looked like a statue staring at me. "I mean, if that's too much for you I would completely understand. You can walk away right now and I wouldn't think any less of you." I said the words but I didn't mean them. My world would crumble.

Then he was stepping toward me, still emotionless. I wasn't afraid though; I stood my ground and let him come to me. When he was only a few inches from me he brushed the hair out of my face and leaned toward my ear like he was telling me a secret.

"The only way I'm going anywhere is if you tell me to." Then he kissed me right below my ear. It sent shivers down my spine. "But," I could feel him smile against my neck. "You will literally have to shove me out the door because I won't go quietly this time."

This time I brought his ear to my mouth and pulled his ear lobe into my mouth. I heard him gasp.

"Well then I guess you're stuck with me because I am never letting you out of my sight again."

He pulled me back to look at my face and I studied his as well. He looked as if just won the lottery. I really didn't think of myself as the grand prize but if he did that's all that mattered.

It was his turn to crush my lips to his. It was different this time, slower, passionate. I tried to pour every ounce of emotion into our kiss. I wanted him to feel how I felt. I felt his hands run up and down the side of my body as if he were memorizing it. My hands stayed firmly in his hair. I had to be hurting him but he didn't show it so I didn't ease up.

This time when I opened my mouth he did not push away. Instead he welcomed my tongue in his mouth. He tasted so good, nothing I could my finger on, just pure Edward in his rawest form. I felt as though I was floating. Nothing could ruin this for me.

"Get a damn room!" Someone giggled

Except that.

I knew that annoying nasally laugh. Lauren.

"Some people just can't control themselves." Her worse half Jessica said.

I ground my teeth together. These two could not continue to make my life hell. I needed to stand up for myself. I needed to make my presence know in Edward's life once and for all.

"Thanks for the suggestion girls. I think we will." I said with a big smile on my face, as I stepped out from under the cover of the building.

Their jaws almost hit the ground.

"It's so nice to know you two have finally accepted our relationship. I was afraid I was going to have to pound it into your thick skulls. Thanks again for the suggestion. Fucking Edward's brains out inside would be so much smarter, out here would have gotten a bit chilly."

This time it was Edward's jaw that dropped.

Again without saying a word I grabbed his hand. I led him toward the other entrance to our building hoping we could avoid the party crowd. I could hear Jessica and Lauren arguing as we walked away. They would probably confront me again but this time they had another thing coming if they thought I was just going to lie down and take it.

We reached my room and I was shaking like a leaf. I didn't want Edward to think I was too scared so I excused myself to the bathroom. I pulled out my phone and text Alice.

_Hey Al, can you not come back for awhile? Edward and I need to "talk" _

I waited getting more impatient as every second ticked by.

_No prob. Jasper and I were going to have a little role playing fun anyways. Tink is finally going to snag Peter!_

I couldn't help but laugh. I wish I had her confidence, that would make what I'm about to do a lot easier.

I backed myself away from the sink which I had been leaning on and took a look at myself. Except for some smeared mascara from crying I didn't look half bad. I started to unzip my dress and thought of Alice again. It was as if she knew this was going to happen. I had begged her not to make me wear the garter and stocking set. She adamantly refused saying it would put me in the mood of that era. Now I was silently thanking her. Between that and the matching black bra and underwear set I looked like a Victoria's Secret catalog. Surprisingly when I looked in the mirror again, I was happy with what I saw. I was a little thin but other that that I felt damn sexy. I kept the shoes on, liking how tall they made me feel, and started toward the door. My hand paused on the handle wondering if I should really go through with this. I shook my head and knew it was now or never.

I opened the door and found Edward sitting on the edge of my bed. When he turned and looked at me I thought his eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. I slowly walked toward him hoping my attempt at seduction was working. The closer I got the more nervous I got. Edward wasn't saying anything just staring. I honestly didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. When I was about a foot away I knew I was going to have to do something dramatic to get him to focus. So I straddled his lap. I was in this for all or nothing now. I wanted to know that I had tried everything before getting knocked on my ass and embarrassed.

"Fuck" He breathed out.

"Please tell me that's a good fuck" I pleaded probably a little pathetically, ruining everything I was going for.

"Oh yes, that is a very…. Jesus Bella" He brought his hands up from the bed and felt the string of the garter belt. A moan escaped my mouth. I brought my hand up to my mouth and could feel my face get warm from embarrassment. "Don't" he said and pulled my hand away from my mouth. "I want to hear every beautiful noise that comes from that mouth."

I sucked in a breathe of air. I really wasn't sure of where to go from here. I should have asked Alice before coming out of the bathroom. Instead I did the only thing I knew how to, I kissed him. Deep and hard, grabbing the back of his head to bring him closer. His hands came up and trailed along the side of my body making my whole body want to explode.

"Bella" he whispered into my mouth.

"Mmm" was all I could say. I was putty, my brain official mush. Oh what marvelous lips this man had.

"You don't have to do this you know. I don't want you to do something you will regret because those two made you feel inadequate. Because you are not, you are..." I brought my finger up to Edwards mouth. This wouldn't do, I had to set him straight.

"I'm not doing this to spite them, or to prove something. I'm doing this because I want to. I want to replace a really bad memory with a good one. There is only one person I want to do that with. I want you to erase that bad memory from my head."

"That's a tall order Bella. What if I make things worse? What if I hurt you?"

"You can't, and you won't. I trust you."

The look in his eyes was one of fear. I knew he wasn't going to take the reins; I would have to lead him. He was too afraid of overstepping some invisible boundaries.

I looked him right in the eyes and with shaking hands unclasped my bra, letting it slowly slide from my shoulders down onto the floor. His eyes never left mine, bur started to soften and not look so pained. He had yet to move though. So I grabbed his hands and brought them to my lips and kissed each of his knuckles before placing them on my breasts. His eyes grew big for a moment but then traveled down my body to where his hands were. He started to massage them slowing kneading my nipples which brought out another low moan from my mouth.

I hadn't even realized I was doing it but my hips were grinding down on to Edward's lap. Before I knew what was happening Edward grabbed my hips and flipped me around on the bed so that I was underneath him. His mouth was on mine before I could comprehend what was going on. His lips were only there for a few seconds before they made their way down to my neck. His tongue found a spot under my ear that made my back arch up and panties dampen. As his tongue and lips traveled downward they left a tingling sensation that I hoped would never go away. Then his mouth found my already sensitive nipples. I wanted to explode with pleasure; I had never felt anything so good in my life.

"Oh god Edward" I moaned out.

"Say that again." He demanded in a low sultry voice.

"What?" I asked honestly confused.

"My name. You have no idea what that does to me." I had an idea considering I could feel his bulge on my leg. Without any more discussion his mouth was back on my breasts. It didn't take long before I was spouting his name again.

His kisses slowly started making their way back up my body. Slightly disappointed that he stopped but I didn't say anything.

"Bella, would you mind removing your panties?"

I froze.

This is what I wanted why did it freak me out so much. Trying not to show my discomfort I sat up and started removing the garter and stockings.

"Hey, I told you, you don't have to do this." Edward's face was full of love and understanding. I suddenly remembered why I was doing this. I shouldn't be afraid; he was not that guy at the party.

"And I told you I wanted to."

With that I stood up and peeled off the rest of my clothing, trying my best to make it look as sexy as possible. I don't think I succeeded since a few times I lost my balance on the stupid shoes Alice made me wear. Edward never once laughed, just watched me like there was nothing else in the room.

Once I had all my clothes removed I stood there and realized how vulnerable I was and I didn't care. I made my way back over to where Edward was lying and started to unbutton his vest. My hands were still shaking but I was smiling from ear to ear. After I got the vest off I started making headway on the white shirt he had on underneath. I only got as far as the second button when Edward sat up and tore it off cursing at Alice under his breath.

I hate to admit it but when he tore that shit off and I saw what had been hiding underneath I was in awe. He was perfect. I stared, not really caring if he saw me or not.

I don't know how long I sat there like this, but Edward's laughter brought me back.

"And hear I thought you would think I was perverted if I stared too long."

My face heated up once again from the embarrassment.

"But I'd gladly walk around shirtless twenty four seven if I get to see that nice red hue again."

"You are such a dork" Was all I could manage to get out.

"Yeah, but I'm your dork."

I smiled. I don't know how he did it, but he always knew just what to say.

I reached my hand out and felt the hardness that was his abs. His stomach clenched the lower I got, and his eyes closed with pleasure.

"Edward?"

"Yeah" His eyes shot open and looked at me frantically.

"Would you kindly remove your pants?"

I didn't have to ask twice. He was out of his pants and boxers within seconds.

Now things were more serious. I was out of my element. I had no idea what to do next and was really hoping Edward would step up and lead me the rest of the way. Looking at his naked form I was positive that he would not fit. I was not expert when it came to this sort of thing but he was well beyond average. I couldn't help think that I was being whiny, any other girl would be worshiping his dick and I'm afraid of it. His voice brought me back to reality.

"I love you" he whispered as he softly touched my cheek. I felt the tears building up.

"I love you" I choked out.

We just stared at each for what felt like forever. I memorized the look of love on his face. I never wanted that imaged erased. I'm sure my face mirrored his as we continued to look longingly into each others eyes. Slowly Edward leaned toward me forcing me to lie back on the bed. He was hovered over me kissing that sweet spot under my ear again while his hands explored the rest of my body. I felt as if I should be doing something, so I started to kiss the parts of him I could reach. He pulled away from me at that moment.

"Relax, you don't have to do anything. This is about you. I want you to feel everything I do to you and not be distracted by trying to please me."

I just nodded. Who could argue with that logic?

He started over the same path with his mouth. Even though it was excurciatly painful in a good way I wanted him to continue taking his time. I wanted to savor every last minute. His left hand slowly perched itself on my right knew and began to descend toward the center of my passion. By the time he it my inner thigh I wanted to scream at him to hurry up. He teased me for a little while longer before is long, slender fingers approached my entrance. I knew how wet I must be down there and immediately felt a little self conscious as to whether that was normal. All that was thrown out the window when he let how a low moan.

"Jesus Bella, you are so wet."

I didn't know how to respond to that. Is this really the kind of situation where you need to say thank you?

With out another word he dipped a finger inside me. He slowly and gently pumped in and out. I couldn't believe how good this felt. He eventually added more fingers until I felt as though paralyzed with pleasure. No longer trying to hide my moans I cried Edwards name loud enough I'm sure even over the music people could hear me. He started pumping faster and curled his fingers just enough that he was hitting a spot inside me I didn't even know existed.

Not even seconds after that my body literally felt like it was exploding, except in a good way. I've never felt so blissful in my life. If I had know this is what I was missing out on I would have boarded this train a long time ago.

After I came down from my orgasm Edward's mouth was back on my neck. I was breathing hard even though I really didn't do anything physically exerting.

"Do you know how hot that was?" All I could do was look at him, my whole body was spent. "I will spend the rest of my life getting you to look that beautiful again."

"Believe me; you won't have to try hard." I breathed out having caught some of my breath.

He just smiled and positioned his body over mine. I could feel his hard dick against my stomach, and sadly this freaked me out. I started shaking again. My mind was seeing parts of that night again and then slamming back into reality. I couldn't focus. I wanted this so badly and it was going to be my own fault when it went south. I tried to regulate my breathing in hopes that maybe by a slim chance Edward couldn't feel my shaking or on the verge of hyperventilating. It was then that I felt his hot breath against my ear.

"_Oh girl we are the same_

_We are young and lost and so afraid_

_There's no cure for the pain_

_No shelter from the rain_

_All our prayers seem to fail_

He was singing to me. The words sunk in deep as it was one of my favorite songs.

_In joy and sorrow my home's in your arms_

_In a world so hollow_

_It is breaking my heart_

_In joy and sorrow my home's in your arms_

_In a world so hollow _

_It's breaking my heart_

Every verse he sang I felt myself relax into his arms.

_Oh girl we are the same_

_We are strong and blessed and so brave_

_With souls to be saved_

_And faith regained_

_All our tears wipe away_

As I waited for the chorus to tumble from his lips again I felt his push into me. I braced myself for the pain that never came. He stretched me as wide as I would go I was sure of that. He paused at a certain point and looked at me.

"You okay?"

"Keep singing. You have a beautiful voice." I smiled up at him and knew that this moment right now had officially replaced my other memory.

_In joy and sorrow my home's in your arms_

_In a world so hollow_

_It's breaking my heart_

A little further in.

_In joy and sorrow my home's in your arms_

_In a world so hollow _

_It's breaking my heart_

I heard Edward moan as he made the final push in to me. I echoed his moan and couldn't help but grab a hold of the hair on the back of his head. He started to pump in and out of me. Slow at first but as he saw I was enjoying it he got faster and harder.

"Edward, faster"

"Fuck Bella. I'm not going to last much longer if you keep saying shit like that."

I smile into his shoulder. I couldn't believe me, Bella Swan, had this much effect over someone.

He started going faster and it wasn't long before he put me over the edge again. The feeling of having an orgasm with him inside me was the most amazing feeling ever. Every spasm felt ten times more powerful.

As I came down from my second orgasm of the night I realized Edward was collapsed on top of me.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

He sat up and looked at me as if I was crazy.

"Bella, I have never come that hard in my whole life. You most certainly did not hurt me."

"Oh, I didn't realize…." I stopped myself before I said something stupid. "Sorry"

"Don't be. I'm just glad I made you cum so hard you forgot what you were doing." He smiled like a four year old who just learned to tie his shoes.

"You can be so arrogant"

"Yeah, but you love it. Don't lie, it turns you on." I couldn't help but blush. He got me there. "Isabella Swan! It does!"

"Shut up! Don't pretend you didn't know. I'm pretty sure by your moves you know exactly what to do to please the ladies."

"Honestly, I was so nervous I couldn't even gather enough thoughts to use any of my moves." Edward's hands were nervously playing with a loose thread on my pillow.

"Well then, Mr. Cullen you might have to be punished for that." His eyes got huge and then a smile formed across his face.

"Before you do, can you talk to Alice and Rosalie? I hear they know how to punish men properly."

"Oh Edward, silly boy. We all watched the same porno together."

For the second time that night his jaw almost hit the floor.

**A/N Well hope you enjoyed. FYI the song Edward was singing was In Joy and Sorrow by HIM. As always review, review, review.**


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